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Sunday, May 13, 2007

i dont know how to be happy.
i'm sorry.
i cant help but cry.

why is it always like this.
every single time.
the guilt.
the disappointment.
then it's a wait with thoughts going through my mind like some tumble dryer.
sucking out every single bit of delight and hope
leaving me crisp dry like those fallen leaves.
fragility

there'll be reasons.
and coupled with them explanations.
bringing in only more guilt.
for all my childish and seemingly unreasonable behavior.
so many "you should have"
so much for "if i were you"

couldnt care less for my emotional well being.
obligations.
expectations.

my blog url so totally fits how i feel now.
qing sucks.
not less.
but more.

qing bites
1:14 AM