Wednesday, October 31, 2007

now i know what is the scary thing that makes your hair stand :S
it makes mine stand too!

HUGS TIGHT FOR LIFE.

darling! randomly i recall how we.. *blush! use our boobs to try to collect water in the shower together! hahaha...
i must go on a diet soon! then can shower with you again! <3

i feel so close to you. nothing else comes close.

qing bites

4:43 AM

i have no friends
i have no family

there's only you,
i think of only us.

nothing else matters.

i dont care.
what's poly what jc what's uni what's degree what's diploma.

you said
money makes you feel safe.

then i'll just work
for lots of lots of money

2 3 4 5 years.
let it be

qing bites

2:07 AM

Sunday, October 28, 2007

what i want, is just for you to stay by my side forever,
all the time.
and this time round, i'll do whatever to make you stay (:
from learning to cook to being however you want me to look like.
i dont mind changing,
i dont mind losing myself.
as long as you'll stay with me.
desperate isnt it?

that's only for you.

you said there's nothing to talk about.
):
we used to be together 24/7
all the time.
but we still talk so much.

darling i'm scared.
can you tell?
hughughug!? (:

ilu.

qing bites

11:27 PM

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

hope you get to rest a bit earlier today baby.
yeah, i know it sucks to have so many tests with your internet faulty.
experienced something like that before.
yours is a technical fault.

my papa banned me from the internet stating i'm wasting too much time on it when i was actually doing research.
so yeah. sucks right!?

but still, let's hope your broadband gets done soon! (:
i've already transferred the money, it's not going through till tomorrow 7am.
they'll be taking the rate now i think? so it's alright.
doesnt matter whether or not the exchange rate is fine. just as long as your feel safer it'll be good.

darling you mentioned family shit alot of times. are they giving you trouble again?
just count down ok?
you're not going to stay with them forever, you're going to stick to me!! (:
eventually.
and i'll be nice nice qing so you wont get angry to sad.
okok?

thanks so much for answering my call i know i can get very pestery like.
but i survive on you. you know you know?

hugs. tight.
i go hug quack now!
<3<3

qing bites

11:38 PM

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

hello darling!

i'll keep this short and sweet ok?
it's 1140pm and i'm sleepy. but i haven't even started my online research on "methods to determine rate constant in chemical reactions"
if it's slightly more interesting maybe i can hold my sleepyness back -.-'
just finished my laundry. sch at 830am tmr to discuss the stupid rate constant... fluid mechanics etc etc (YAWNS BEEEG)
i can't help but think i would be happier at mass comm.

anyhow, no time or any creativity left in me to come up with a new email add.
all my classmates are asking for my email too. it's inevitable for school.
ashleythepig & qingthegiraffe too cute la darling!
currently some ideas running thru' my (very sleepy) head are:
skoolsucks@hotmail.com
chemicalengineeringsucks@hotmail.com
neversendyourkidtosp@hotmail.com
therearebetterjobsouttherethanchemicalengineeryouknow@hotmail.com
iamreallynotintorateconstants@hotmail.com

ishouldreallygetstartedonmyresearchifiwanttogetanysleepatall@hotmail.com :(

meeting PO tmr after school. then back to school for more reports to do.
dad's watching tv. bro's singing in his room.
and all i want is to get some sleep.

why is everything so unevenly distributed in this world? :(

p/s: why ask me to listen to hurt, darling? i listened to it once and you scolded me. rmb?

qing bites

4:39 AM

Monday, October 15, 2007

darling!
sorry for not blogging for so long.
been real busy at work, cleaning up the place and also organizing my return flight.

i know it's just as tough for you,
and you're not really so into giving tuition, it's just,
you're worried about me coming back and all our expenses.
yeah i'm a bit worried too, cos after all, this is a make or break thing,
so i'm doing my part, saving up and earning as much as i can now (:
no more failure ok? no more going to parents being the one who's helpless.
just us, on our own(:

hughugs!

baby you're real busy these few days,
it's hard to get everything done, school, probation, tuition, parents.
i understand, so it's fine if you dont have time to read blog or emails and stuff.

tomorrow, i'm going to get my passport scanned and photocopied, ic too.
then send you a copy after setting up your email account,
hmm,
you know i really dont know what email i should give you? )):
and this is very kiddish so i'm very shy to ask what you like):
i nearly gave you ashleythepig.
then for myself qinggiraffe.
but it's like 见不得人。。。
cos it's so childish and dumb!
hmm

text me if you can think of something nice ok?
meanwhile i'll keep a real close eye at the exchange rate.
once it hits 1.15++ i'll transfer the money to you!:D
hughug!

ilu ashprecious.
night!

qing bites

11:10 PM

Thursday, October 11, 2007

hey baby(:

so long since i last blogged.

really super exhausting to work these few days ):

it's like fighting mental war.

somemore the m'sian manager's wife is in the store 24/7 too.

and she's super scheming..

i miss lower queen st.

))):

anyhow!

i saw a rainbow today! :D

and i took a pic!

2 actually, but this rainbow disappeared VERY FAST!

it came and went in 10sec -.-

i show you!

((:

pretty right?

you always see rainbow around qingg! :D

darling i went jogging after work actually, really too stressed, but halfway running it suddenly poured. damn cold. and then there's sun again!

((:

ok enough of my kiddish ranting.

i know it's been damn tough for you all these while.

juggling school, your very hard to handle parents, your legal case, my room, your tuition.

none of those can be done in a few days.

hmm, i suddenly remember how i fell asleep on your shoulder while you found us our place, i feel super guilty suddenly, you're always doing everything.

BUT NO MORE OK!?

i'll do everything i can once i'm back with you (:

you'll have lots lots of qing but very little stress!

at least very little stress from me.

baby i've been thinking alot lately.

cant deny the anxiety i'm feeling about coming back,

like my parents, settling down, finding job, get all my stuff in nz done.

i know you're just as stressed out.

cos your mom will know about me coming back,

i'll be demanding for time with you, your school work, your tuition, your mom and house work.

so baby, must remind me when i get too pushy ok?

you're a full time student after all and i'm determined to let you get through this dip with real impressive grades (:

qing'll be as minor a distraction as possible!

but i'll bring you nice food as and when you crave for them ( i think sp got enough nice food already la hor? )

baby go listen to hurt by christina aguilera. (:

then go watch britney spears gimme more video.

gosh i really pity her, so fat ):

totally ruined by k fed ):

still, she's loaded.

darling we'll go exercise together once i'm back k?

and be fit and healthy! :D

ok i call you later and kiss you night

(again! )

hugs.

hope everything turns out fine tomorrow.

times like this, i really dont know what to say, except to hug you....

qing bites

10:42 PM

Sunday, October 7, 2007

baby.
i'm taking a shower.
then wait for hair to dry.
eat a bit of fruits and take my last pill for the day.
sleep (:

missing you a hell damn lot lately.
i know, it's just a matter of another 26 days or so and i'm back.
right beside you (:
but just cant help it):
A VERY NEEDY QING!
how?

you must be really tired...
i dont like. so i'm going to make you stick to having only 1 student once i'm back!
dont worry about money please?
i'll be able to find a job and make you feel safe alright? (:
hughugs!

havent been telling you about my entries
cos you like to be romantic.
anticipation,
suspense.
wah liao. i'm too old for all these la but i'll try.
ok?!:D
anyways, i dont even think you have the time and energy to read ):
and please.
DONT ACCESS OUR BLOG AND ANYTHING USING SOMEBODY ELSE'S LAPTOP OR COMPUTER.
havent we already had enough shit cos of that?
at least when i use the company computer, i have my own login which is exclusively mine.
no url left behind or anything.

ok i might sound too harsh, but it's just all those bad memories ):
hope you get enough rest tonight.
busy week for you from tomorrow
your finals for the play.
your court day.

while i have to try to go to work and drag the stupid prepay roaming compensation customers.
but hmm, i'm smart!
so dont worry about me!:D

hugs love.
if only.
if only you can actually answer my call and kiss me night today.
cos frankly, i'm quite worried about the prepay roaming ):
i cant afford to lose my job.
or even, any portion of my pay,
at this critical joint. nothing matters, but everything matters.
i just want to be right next to you again. safely

qing bites

10:09 PM

Saturday, October 6, 2007

hey darling (:
it's just so comforting. to be with you on the phone.
i'm sorry, bet i was irritating the hell out of you just now with my incessant chant of passwordpasswordpassword ):

yeah, you're so smart, i'm insecure.
given both of past, it's hard not to. i know you're mature enough to have got over everything,
for me, it's not that easy ):
remember how i hide so much things from you when we first got together?
till now i still think it's a miracle that i have you with me, going strong.
so to me, things like this, like giving you my password, letting you know my whereabouts my routines my everything. is like a way to gain your trust again and also make up to what i've done.
everything you said, things like "let your actions speak" "it's hard to trust you like that"
they are like the fundamental values which propells me to doing things.
i live to please.. only you. (:
and to hear you giggle is the most wonderful moments for me right now (:

and as for you, darling can you still recall the times when you said
"do you not want blatancy in love? you're just not open enough to accept the truth"
it hurts do you know? and your truth hurts me too. but just not as much as the fact that, i'm only worthy of a cover up, a lie.
this might sound a bit uncomfortable to you, but havent we been together long enough to understand what will trigger each other's tears and heartaches?
i know walking away from you, disappearing from you, taking other's side instead of yours, believing in what others say and choosing to let outsiders outweigh you, hurts you alot.
my insecurity, paranoia, possessiveness can get you feeling strangled too.
so i'm trying to change (: (:
at the end of the day, it's ash precious! :D who matters the most.
your patience is just remarkable darling.
you bother to explain (:
but i bother to listen :D

so hughug!!!

darlingg, i'm really dumb,
i didnt know i hurt you so much. ):
till just now when you told me you cried. after we first kissed.
i was really scared too. more scared than heartbreak cos i wasn't expecting anything from you at all, BACK THEN. sorry la! but yeah, cos your friendster profile screams BUAYA. last time

anyways, let those all be history, we'll just focus on being romantic!! :D
like what you've said, i'll just do whatever you want me to ok?

suddenly remember the first time you slapped me (:
it was cos of me kissing atee. )):
i was really stupid, but it's also that slap that's finally woke me up and snapped me out of the judgemental transfixed idea that you're a hwwwge player.(:
it hurt me quite a bit, not the force of the slap but that you've actually SLAPPED ME!!!
like wtf! i liked you leh you still slap me!
(somemore in front of an old witch plus a gheena ahlian!) ok that's not the point.
i just couldnt believe you've got the heart.
then again, the look of regret and hurt on your face and the tears.
it was then that i finally realize you mean it all with your heart and that i do matter more than what i think. (:

baby i'm really sorry for all these sorrows that i've put us through,
what to do you're stucked with a noob at love.
so no romance ): i'll just be a constant spoiler! xp

ALAS!
dont ever give up ok?
be patient cos i'll always be trying to be the perfect girlfriend for you no matter how many times i'm destined to fail.
a little compliment from time to time from you will help alot! :D

小宝贝，
一直以来，从那刻起，你就成了我生命里的唯一。
没有眼泪，没有心碎。
这一点，我可以发誓。
亲亲！

qing bites

12:17 AM

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

hello baby.
just put down the phone.
am i very very clingy?
calling you almost every breathing moment when i miss you too badly.
but darling! do you know i dialled your number so many times and hang up half way through cos i dont want to disturb you.

heh.
baby!
less than a month till i'm back!
cant wait cant wait!
and i need to quickly get everything settled.
and save lots lots of money!
then gotta diet a bit cos i'm getting too fat ):
just dont want you to not want me.
stuff like too possessive.
too controlling.
too fat.
too useless.
and then there's the.
i dont feel the same for you anymore ):

you said that before and i know it hurts like hell.
it's so bad that i didnt even know what to say and how to react.
)):

so darlingg.
this time, can we just be very boring and hughug kisskiss hold hand once in a while?
and you still feel the same for me while i love you even more!:D

you just had fever last night ):
darling!
next time when you feel very hot please dont take off all your clothes and switch on air con ok?
on aircon must wear a bit!
wear nothing cannot on aircon!
so it's either or!
if not you'll be very prone to getting my kinda viral infection.

dont like it when you're so stressed up and tired.
):
just hope everything will eventually get sorted.
and we'll settle down.
and come to a point of stability.
routinal life. boring. but just for another 3 years or so till you feel safe?(:

tomorrow work at remuera ):
new market.
i dont like. going to just grouch and sulk there.
hugs baby.
hope i can sleep properly tonight.

you sleep tight too ok?
can text me before you go to bed to kiss me night? (:
ilu.

qing bites

9:18 PM

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

hello baby! :)

i miss you alot! i know you're missing me too.. :( *hughug! tight tight!

it's 1230am now. and i just finished my laundry and showered. too tired until cannot sleep.
i know it's uncanny but, when you msg me saying you were not well,
i was actually running a fever. was feeling quite sick.
had to struggle to not fall asleep in class. and there was this noisy classmate beside me in the lecture theatre, damn irritating.
now i'm feeling better. but still dehydrated, and lips burning red and kinda painful.
but overall i am ok! so no worries darling!
*hugs tight once again

long day tmr :(
i don't like.
but i guess it's good that i'm kept busy for now,
coz you're not around i tend to get v moody and i grouch!
ALOT.
i really can't wait for you to be back baby...
sometimes i get scared. like, how will things be like when you're back?
i have been looking forward to seeing you again after our sad and abrupt parting.. :'(

sorry if this is a bit long ok? too long never update!
darling!!! you know what!!! my bro (that prick) he threw away his hamster!
he set it free in the jungle with the last bit of food and then proudly came home to tell that old man that he did the right thing by giving his hamster freedom.
what the FUCK la! i bet it's already dead by now. eaten alive by a passing snake. :'(
i fucking hate him to the core! first buddy, now his cute (but dead) hamster.
and he claims he's an animal lover.
just another fucking sad pathetic excuse for a living human. like his father.
super good at coming up with excuses for themselves. men.

tell you sth funny so you can downright laugh at him ok?
he has very bad acne on his body, so guess what he did?
he went to buy a brush (that kind used to wash clothes one) and used that to brush his body!
still very proud, "only $1 that brush!"
now he looks like a skinny wolverine LOL.
how pathetic you tell me. -.-'

i feel alienated. detached. from them. (like, totally)

wanted to sign up for a new email but i'm really too tired.
shall end here ok? tmr i need to buy safety boots, coz thur's plant dismantling.
then tuition. i'm paying for internet, phone bill, and mrt/bus concession myself...
so no choice :(

darling.. i really really hope the probation years will fly by and by then i will be financially independent to totally be with you, unprohibited :D

LOVE YOU! <3

qing bites

5:22 AM