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Friday, February 8, 2008

everytime i see your 'i'm sorry' messages to me.
i get scared.
you're either really sad.
or you want something for yourself from me which i dont really want to give.
-time alone. without me around.
and i get scared.

i do have problems.
flaws. things that i dont like to admit about myself.
and so do you.
i agree. we come from entirely different family background and upbringing.
whatever i've went through, even if you're the world's most empathetic person, you'll never be able to experience.
and it's the same for me.
i dont wish to change you. i hope you dont get me wrong.
when i tell you the reasons behind my actions and my train of thoughts, it's just so that you wont hate me for all the things i say and do. to find me difficult and unreasonable.

i'm not a good problem solver.
you throw me a complex question and i'm thrown off.
you should know.
i dont know how to behave i dont know what to say.
the safest thing i know is to stay near you when you're sad.
at least i know you'll be alright, even if you cry or just sulk,
i can get food get water give you anything you need.

i know i gave you alot of hurt.
far more than anything i've experienced.
i just want you to be happier. to be living a healthy normal life like how you've always told me thats the only thing you want.
i do.

what hurts the most, you cant see, you cant feel, you dont know.
even if i wear it on my skin.

that's why i stopped saying,
i know.

qing bites
7:02 AM