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Tuesday, June 10, 2008

i love my master shifu hobblehobble macs happy meal toy!!:D
and my master shifu and po the panda fan (:

they're both so cute!!! (:
baby i dont mind watching again.

everything that you said today,
about how you can afford thousands of things which you want.
the times when you tap for internet connection just to find out where i am.
the distress the trauma and all the pain.
when you were left in lurch to face everything alone.

and now. you have to live in the shadow of what's happened.
guilt trips everytime when you face your family.
so much so much for you to do everysingleday.

i do see that.
those thoughts. they go through my mind every single day.
and maybe that explains my selfdoubt and paranoia.
i do have a conscience, surprising?
and when i think i cant sleep, even if i take cough syrup.

i didnt believe anyone can actually get around to forgiving what i've done.
i was violent, unreasonable, in perpetual moodswing, self centred, and i left you.
there's alot more.
pick any one of the above and that's more than enough reason for you to ask for a break up.

i take you being with me now as a miracle.
i'm not entitled to being with you
it's like taking a gift that's meant for someone else and anytime that organizer will realize and everything that we have now will be taken away ):
trying hard to make sure nothing goes wrong and everything goes right's not foolproof.
there're times when emotion overwrites everything else
you feel possessed.
out of control.
it goes on and on.
until something finally strikes the spot where it hurts the most.
i cant bear to see you cry.
sometimes i question, am i even worth it.
so what if i've done all the stuff for our relationship.
you're right.
does it in any ways benefit you.
so what if the intention is good but everything just run off course in the process.
it's still considered bad.

we should try a different approach.
darling do you see me as a the dark side sucking away all your sunshine liveliness?

i just cant imagine holding anyone else's hand except for yours.
neither can i go on without you in my mind.

the thought, it makes me cry

qing bites
4:22 AM