darling, i'm really very sorry about yesterday. i'm not good with words. but i really am sorry :(( i reflected. you're right. we're both girls, and we both have feelings and sensitivity. i'm sorry with all the mean words (i don't mean them at all!) i'm sorry i said them. i shall go and slap my mouth a few times now.
you are a wonderful gf to me, u know? i think i should tell you at least once a day how lucky i am to have you. you are also quite serious and settled when you're mugging (but cannot pull hair!!) and i know it's time to take a break when you go "darling i restless!" only you can put up with all my pms-y shitty behaviour (darling i'm sorry again) you know you sounded so sad on the blog that i can actually feel your sadness? :((
darling you know i really like to send you home even though i admit i was tired? :)) coz sending you home means i get a few more minutes of qing's sweet molecules! and since i cannot bring you to bed with me, at least let me smell more! :D today was a simple yet happy day mugging at je library darling u notice all my smileys are double-chinned? coz i ate too much. (sorry wo bu guai!)
darling i go and finish the last bit of laundry and shower so i can call you asap! i miss miss you miss miss your smell miss miss your voice even miss miss your cackling when you call me... THE FAT!
The Fat loves The Qing (Princess!) darling... be with me forever and ever can? i love you. very much.
:)) <3 :D
qing bites
6:06 AM
Friday, January 30, 2009
you know i was just scrolling down the older msgs on our tagboard. cos i feel quite bad for the last 2 msgs i left. then i realize that, 4 out of 5 times you tag, you write mean things ):
i'll appreciate you more and be more cooperative and easier to handle. but will you think twice before you say anything or write anything?
i feel. i listen. as much as i'd love to forget them, the pain from the heartache stays ):
i know you dont mean them, even if you do, i'll take it as you dont. (:
qing bites
6:45 AM
i like you like this
like you most when you look like that.
(: this pic makes me smile even when i'm really sad or confused.
haha, and i dont know about this one (: but, i love you
qing bites
4:47 AM
why is it always you shouting
fuck off leave me alone let me go dont touch me i want to be left alone i dont want to see you i dont want to talk to you stop following me stop calling me dont call anymore i hate you you make me sick
i know i'm always the one making you angry most of the time but nobody's perfect. ): like real i'm numb, i wish i really can be. but i cant.
qing bites
3:23 AM
from 21 to 24, the best years of my life, i seriously dont know, what the fuck you
you know you're very irritating? to the point of annoying.
we're so different, we're not compatible at all.
why is it always me compromising, not you?
i dont have anything to say to you
i'm repeating this. DONT CALL
it's like i cant even be myself with you
dont feel like talking to u anymore
i've been training myself not to cry for the past 2 yrs. and it seems like, i'm going nowhere ):
qing bites
2:25 AM
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
hello baby i'm too lazy to find my note book to write the stuff i need to do so yeeeeeeep, i'm going to write stupid things here ok?
1)get money from tham 2)count the number of pages of notes i printed for microbio and email class 3)write down the dates when i went for kim keat 4)tell jacklyn and jaslyn i cant make it tomorrow cos i need to do my stupid report 5)find the pathology tutorials and pester papa to print the notes for me, go online to save all the files onto my laptop 6) most important! ANYHOW DO THE STUPID RWP REPROT 7)check out the microbio prac how to do and pester bingyang to send me the raw data 9)find the lasik book and the eye thingy books to return must bring to school tmr! 10) text champ to get him to gimme money! say i'm going to be attached to an overseas schoolHAHA, give him a taste of his own medicine 11)remember to hassel the spree organizer for the ben sherman shirt money!! 12)nearly forgot, i need to read thru the gems script. must go for gems this friday.TMD!
qing bites
10:25 PM
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
hello baby!
it's nian chuuu yiii. and it's been quite boring lately cos there's no shop open and we're very logical so we havent been splurging unneccessarily and doing impulsive things. aside from the midnight movie last night. tmd, i'm sure those stupid nightrider people are just lazy lor! made us waste time and money!
darling this yr's going to be good for you! i know it's not advisable for you to go to the hospital but lasik is done at eye centre! not hospital! :D:D
so itinery for tomorrow!
you wake up for pather i wake up for stupid report
you go home to spring clean i also stay at home to spring clean
you clean somemore at home i travel to you in woodlands!
we both mug a bit in woodlands!
i go home and you go home!
then we sleep early for wednesday as we start to make more money! :D:D
moneymoney!
wa jin gian ben! :D
le chui kee dua dua!
wa chui kee swee swee!
qing bites
4:39 AM
Sunday, January 18, 2009
i've always thought that i know what hurt is.
but nothing's hurt more than you hurting me, and what hurts the most is to know how much i've hurt you ):
darling i'm quite happy today. cos you still do let me cling onto you, although not as much as before. but i'm contented being able to just hold your hand and hug you once in a bit ((((: lalala
lasik!!!
then we can go for boxing and dance together!! :D:D:D
ok i thnik i'm really sick i just showered and now it feels like i just ran 3k
waiting for your reply now. hmmm, i'm sure your contacts are somewhere in your room. but it's alright! they'll be discarded soon! rightright?
imissyou veryveryverybadly ):
qing bites
3:00 AM
Thursday, January 15, 2009
i never wanted to fight with you. can we stop fighting and hurting and destroying our own lives?
right now teacher is going on about benzene and propylene and i just can't give a shit. it's not that i want to be moody sometimes i get so stressed inside i suffocate.
school is tough. life is tough. why make it tougher?
i'm just talking gibberish i think. (mind's a blank)
qing bites
10:17 PM
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
i'm trembling and waiting for the heater ): temp measures 37.6
i feel down too. but i'm hoping for a very happy tomorrow :D
qing bites
2:19 AM
Monday, January 12, 2009
hello darling i think i'm running a fever now. so i'll keep this short and hopefully my hair will dry soon you have tuition tomorrow so early i heartache ):
my poor little teethy baobei zao shui zao qi shen ti hao :D
tomorrow marks the end of your tedious 15months probation! :D it's yours as much as mine in some ways, although i didnt make things any easier for you and only added on to your anxiety and stress. you're right i'm full of trouble and problem ): like real i'm worth it. i'm just lucky i found you. thank you for your motherly instinct. (:
it took you very long to get use to the curfew i know, in fact, i dont think we ever got used to it. it's always such rush, and eventually, we cab, and still miss the 10pm mark.
we should seriously take some time out to plan for a relaxing day and really just dillydally and muck around and do nothing and slowly make our way home :D
can can?
and then hopefully in feb my parents can go overseas we take 1 day out to cook a full 3 dish 1 soup plus rice meal! :D
and then also one day for a 5 course meal! :D
lalala.
i love being with you darling when you said, you've never gave a thought about how life'll be great without me, cos you're already with me(: i was really really touched.
there are times when i dreamt that i'm back in hwachong done well for a's and proceeded to uni, and i wake up crying cos you're missing ):
qing bites
4:50 AM
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
i dont know how to keep my emotions in check.
seriously, i myself dont know what's going through my mind.
switching your phone off.
zero reply.
vanishing and getting angry at me.
obviously, it's all justified.
i just hope you're fine at home and can sleep and your fever'll go away.
i swear i was crazy.
it scares me. alot.
qing bites
3:56 AM
Saturday, January 3, 2009
THIS IS A VERY SERIOUS BLOG ENTRY. . .. ... .... .....
Gotcha! Didn't I? :D Ok, now that I have your attention...
"darling you're on the mrt on your way home now and i don't know when you'll be reading this...
i was just thinking back about those days when we had nothing, and all we had was each other :) even though we were v poor and living on only instant for some time, i was happy. but sometimes it's scary when i think back, coz those days we were both v unstable...
i guess what i'm trying to say is we just need to discuss and plan together and maybe strike a balance?
i could earn all the money i can possible earn from all the good assignments right now. but my gf is unhappy inside and losing her beautiful hair, my room is perpetually in a state of mess and filth, i'm under a lot of stress struggling to cope with both school and work..
i guess this is what they mean when they say you can't have everything going your way. and if i get to choose only one, i'll still choose you over everything else :)
i'm going to replan my workload. meaning i'm going to drop some tuition. and fix a date and monetary target for my lasik.
sounds good? but it also means we cannot eat good food anymore (not so often anyway) cannot buy too much clothes (maybe the online spree is my first and last) replace movies with free dvds in school media room
instead we'll get to spend more time doing cheapo things together like going to the gym, mugging in school, read books in library OF COURSE WE ARE GOING TO GO FOR DANCE/MUAY THAI :D (i'm just thinking whether i'm cut out for dance coz i've tried and failed many times at it?)
i like you like this
like you most when you look like that. 
haha, and i dont know about this one (: but, i love you