:D <3s =D

2010-03-09T03:39:00.000+13:00

jan 15

i cant tell truth from lies when it comes to you,"truth will remain as truth, believe me or not, whatever i said is the truth"classic statement from you which i took as the biblical fact ever since the first time i told myself to trust you.i dont even know why i chose to believe cos now that i look back, it doesnt make sense,especially when tonight,when i asked you if you are positively sure if you said something positive when sylvia asked you "is she the one"all i could remember is that, you replied her with, honestly, i dont think so. i was walking sooli to the dover mrt station.you then asked for evidence to that, to which i have none obviously. and so, you're directing to how it doesnt stand since i dont have evidence.
so what now?whatever you say is always right, while whatever i state, always has to be supoorted with physical evidence?what? just because i'm prc i'm lesser of a being than you?):i'm not angry, its really pure sadness,
since the whole auckland episode where i stranded you alone in singapore, and telling you the ultimate meanest thing of wishing that you could besent to jail for a very long time, i've decided to think, and ponder hard 3 times to make sure that i dont get into a verbal diarrhea which isnot processed through my mind and hurt your feelings.and i followed through my personal pact, closely, till today. and i'm glad i've not hurt you in any ways.but sometimes i do tick you off through questioning, while you can hurl insults which you render as just angry words, to which i felt so hurt that i cant even stop myself from crying. i'm not devoided of emotions just because i keep all my refutes in, it's our innate ability to retaliate,sad to say, i love you enough to hold myself back nicely. almost all the time.when i'm sad i cry,when i'm angry i have no choice but to cry too.
i cant count the number of times you've asked for a break up,i'm not denying that i really do feel the happiest with you, we somehow just can get along so well,and you know what? i managed a trend from all the different recounts couples have after they've ended a relationshipwe cant get along/ we can get alongyou've said that so many times, we're not compatiable.i refused to comment,right now, i'm still unwilling to accept this but,i have to admit that we click extremely well, as much as you always say we're totally the opposite, we're both bitchy in the same way,we appreciate the same things, it used to be so different, we compromised just so we can enjoy each other's company better,i dont know where the attraction stem from, but you always can work the magic of making me feel like we're still madly in love,yeah, i know it's mostly one sided now. how slow.
given the numerous times you initiated break-upand the countless times i asked for another chance.
since the first valentines day, where you lost the blue rose i gave, ( first time i gave anyone a flower for val)that night you told me you want a break up and i walked to woodlands on foot half waytotonight, when i was just meaning to question this question which has effectively haunted me and deprived me of sleep for a good 4 months,am i the one or not?
maybe i'm really that cheap,like you've said,i'm all shit,i'm only worthy of the different hokkien profanities which you use on me ever so fluently,which you dont even take a second to consider.it's no self sympathy here, i'm just, sick of hearing all these things from you. like, my heart aches so bad, i mean to hang up but i cant,i mean to run away but i cant, i mean to scream stop but i cant, i want to tell you BUT I LOVE YOU! but i cant.cos you just wont stopp
let me just sum this up,our relationship is based on material indulgence from the first moment on,through which i really did learn to appreciate and value how tough it is to materialize certain things which are hard to achieve.i know i've not been of much help to you, it's stupid to say it's beyond my means,but you've really spent a huge portion of your earnings on me, i'm not with you just to splurge your hard earn cash away i have to emphasize.it seems like, whoever pays for you, have the biggest say in your life, i want to hold that position, which is why i've decided to go for as many tuition as possible to gain that little opportunity so you can hear me out.):but obviously, i'm not doing it fast enough.
asphyxiatingyou know what it means?ha, sounds like what we always like to ask each other.that's one word which i've wanted to ask you but never did,that's how i feel towards you and us sometimes,and i guess that feeling is mutual.
there's no turning backtonight, there's no more sorry, i love you.let's put to test if we can remain as friends.since you've always claimed/joked that you'd rather be my friend.
i love you.you'll always be with me (: somehowand i'll keep the nicest part of our memory alive.

2010-03-09T03:21:00.002+13:00

i dont have much to say.
and it's already been so many times,
i'm tired,
of thinking of ways to apologize, making it up to you, saying sorry, reflecting on everything, making fault out of no fault at all sometimes, and sometimes trampling over something that has been sucked out of me from the day you slapped me at rail mall.
i lost my pride, and didnt care much for it.

i've written down this a million times, i used to always call for break up, and then run back asking you to take me back. which is obviously nonsensical and unneccessary.

now, you're doing the same, just that, it's clearly not out of immaturity.
you're tired of this relationship, we're out of convo topics more or less, we dont share common interest, so much of compromise, i picked up your interests while you take the chance to try out mine.

still, i'm not passionate about music as much as you do, neither do i have the talent to play you nice tunes and get you interested and impressed.

as i've said on the phone with you replied with a curt 屁啊
there're many qualities in you which i am attracted to,
but for you, that's definitely not the case,
i'm very much just a vase,
the traits on me which can amaze you are pretty much exhausted.

i dont wish to repeat myself over and over again about how i feel and all that's going through me.
it's happening all too often.
it's going to be tough, but i'm going to learn to respect your choices.
and respect myself.

2010-03-09T02:45:00.000+13:00

ten out of ten times you seal the night with me in tears,
nine out of ten times you play lead in my nightmares,
eight out of ten times a day you remind me how much you've given up to be with me
seven out of ten times a week you remind me of all my wrong doings.
six out of ten times on the phone you scream profanities.
five out of five times you hang up on me
four out of five hours with you i feel asphyxiated, with anxiety,
three out of 24hrs a day, i spend reflecting on how much i'm indebted. to you.
2/10 you'll rate my appearance "your fuckface, where's your boobs man?"
one out of 10 instances, you truly feel the love, when i get my paycheques.
0/10, how much i rate as a girlfriend, and how much you feel for me.

let's put it to an end.
it's not too late,
and before the flame burns dry you've snuffed it cold.

2010-02-02T04:09:00.002+13:00

fuck you for all your inconsiderate ways,
fuck you for making me feel guilty when you're doing your itp and i cant have any fun
fuck you for going out late at night leaving me stranded at home worried sick and getting all anxious
for all the dumb empty promises you made about how you will not do anything to make me feel uncomfortable and so much for YEAH, I'M NOT THE ONE FOR YOU AND DONT FUCKING SALVAGE IT.
so much for taking my studies and career and future as your priority,
i dont need your pathetic money
and i have control over my own life.
so here it is,

you lead yours while i lead mine

darn right you push all the wrong buttons.
and this time round i'm off the last straw
fuck you

2009-09-09T07:04:00.003+12:00

how you can see the pain in my eyes in every single photo?

i wish i can tell you i wish to be away from you more than anything else

2009-09-09T07:00:00.003+12:00

i dont know how i actually bear with all your fuck offs

seriously
i had ENOUGH.

and really, you have ZERO patience for me.

ZERO.
ZERO AND THAT'S IT.

TALK ABOUT UNREASONABLE?
SEEMS LIKE I'M ALWAYS AND THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN BE UNREASONABLE.

NEVER YOU
NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER EVER EVER YOU

AND SEEMS LIKE I CAN NEVER EVER GET HURT
AND WHATEVER YOU SAY WILL NEVER HURT ME SOMEHOW
AND SOMEHOW I CAN ALWAYS ALWAYS FORGET
I ALWAYS HAVE TO
COS I OUGHT TO.

FOR WHICHEVER REASON I DONT KNOW

and everything that i say which are just things that i feel deep down,
they hurt you right?
and that's why you can be so abusive towards me

yeah, tell me to go cry a river cry a lake
cos whenever i cry.
i'm not only crying alone,
i have nobody to console me, neither are there any comforting words or apologies or anything at all.
i cry alone with you mocking me and hurling more abusive words.

whenever i get hurt,
i dont just get hurt,
i have you running far away from me fast saying that i asked for everything myself

i think you're totally right.
about that.

2009-09-09T06:05:00.002+12:00

OH SO TO SHOW YOUR FUCKING GRATITUDE YOU'RE CALLING MY HOUSE AT 2AM
KNOWING MY MAMA ALREADY DOESN'T GET ENOUGH SLEEP.

SHE HAS TO WORK U KNOW? UNLIKE UR FUCKING MAMA.
AND KNOW WHAT? I AM NOT HAPPY WITH YOU USING MY MONEY TO BUY MOVIE TICKETS FOR YOUR PARENTS. WHY CAN'T THEY PAY? !!!

2009-09-09T05:42:00.002+12:00

you know i really don't get you right now.

first you went on and on and on about how hungry you are, going to faint in shower some more.
and all you have to do is open door, accept the food - don't even need cash.

and now you're pissed off? huh? hate me even cos there's no fries?

if you really don't want food then complain once, complain twice.
but if you don't stop complaining i'll think it's v serious.

W.H.A.T.E.V.E.R M.A.N
i'm going to bed.

2009-09-09T05:25:00.002+12:00

9/9/09 @ 1:26am:

my darling is super hungry to the point of being cranky (angry and sad at me at the same time)
so i took the liberty to order 6 pc nuggets (with curry sauce and mayo)
and apple pie (cos it's warm and delivery fries suck)
and green tea.

i'm praying v hard that she's not fainted in the shower.
and that she won't be mad at me for ordering (and it's paid for alr!) despite her saying no no no.
should have ordered earlier lor. i tried bribing the mac's guy but he was damn adament abt 45min delivery time.

shiiiit. he just called to say he's outside darling's house but i think darling's in the shower.
fuuuuuuck they bluff me - they only took what, 10min?!?!

*prays v hard now

2009-08-17T03:06:00.005+12:00

hmm, your last entry kinda made me a bit sad )):

but nevermind i'm still uploading your cute and cool video for you to see see (:

hahaha, not really very amazing, so obviously i'm not uploading it onto fb la!

nvm, i'll take you playing eh, riffrifforbit extreme when you wearing contact lens when you're skinny ok?

then i bet you can add a few more names to your endlesssssss list of gfs.

sucks to be your gf man, see i've got only one and one name only

MISS ANGELINA LOW HUI LEI. who can mimic armchio by going into facial spasm HAHAHAH

2009-08-04T05:10:00.002+12:00

i wonder if you'll ever question yourself when feelings fade away and relationships fall apart.

they say it takes two hands to clap.
but you only need a finger to point and blame.

cry. you're the only one who knows how to cry?!
so go ahead and cry me a river.

2009-08-04T05:02:00.002+12:00

so many entries. all you posted one. so here's what i have to say:

you're blowing things out of proportion.
not like i deliberately want to hide things from you. don't see the need to anymore.
all i did was to delete some emails.
go ahead and make a mountain out of a molehill and upset yourself.
it's unnecessarily really.

i think you're right and i agree with you.
you're like this now because of what happened with lard and etc.
and when i first got to know you you were like that because of your family and etc.
it's always somebody else's fault isn't it?

once again tonight i gotta pack up my emotions and collect myself to do school work.
it's no surprise that sooner or later, i will be void of all emotions.
the only one i'm feeling right now is misery.

you're right too. we never look good in any photo.
you're presence is over empowering in photos. and in real life.
i'm overshadowed. and miserable.

so let's just be miserable till you finally figure out what's wrong.
because i really don't think i'm wrong this time.

no need for apologies. apologies is a childish game.
all i need is peace but you never ever give me any.

2009-08-04T04:49:00.003+12:00

remember how you've told me that if you couldnt get over me leaving for auckland,
even if you love me, you cant get over it, then we can no longer be togther?

or if i cant get over lard, even if you didnt do anything with her,
and if i still do love you but i cant get over it, then we can no longer be together too?

maybe i just cant get it out of myself,
anything of this nature sets me off real bad,
i think i'm going to get nightmares tonight,
it's nothing to do with you.

maybe it's just in you to hide everything from me,
not because of any ill intention but just to keep things jolly as they seem,
it's not at all your fault,
maybe it's mine.
maybe i'm the cause of everything.

you asked me about what i think in the shower,
i told you about how i just think of what to do next,
tonight's the first time i cry in the shower.
so bad that i think i shampooed my body and soaped my hair.

do you think we're meant to be together?

you're right, i dont think we're compatible at all.
we dont even have a photo in which we both look good.

2009-08-04T04:15:00.002+12:00

interestingly enough,
i actually remember exactly when and where you told me that you've recognized my effort in being patient with you and waiting.
waiting
waiting
for you to actually be honest and open with me.

how you've decided to change and you told me that you've indeed changed.
yeah, i was really touched and i felt as if we could go on forever at that point in time.

you want the time?
it's on thursday around 4pm on bus 105 on our way to town
the key here is,
you were still semi drunk.

and obviously,
nothing you said should be taken into serious account for.

you'd expect me to say,
ahhh, let's start a new, i'm sorry darling, i havent been understanding, youve got so much things to handle it's your last sem how tough how inconsiderate of me to make you go through this kind of things!!

and the saddest part is,
i've been trained to say those words over and over again at times like this, that i've no longer got a mind of my own to think about anything else.

yeah, in loving you, i've lost myself.

you'll never know.

it's such a huge disappointment.

2009-08-04T04:13:00.002+12:00

you treat me like a fucking 7-11
always around the corner, anytime, anywhere.

with what you need,
never what you want.

dispose of me then,
since i'm worth of only the value of junk.

2009-08-04T03:26:00.003+12:00

you always make me cry.
and the truth is you dont really care whether i cry or not.
you cant feel it when i'm hurt.
and you dont really do things to stop hurting me.

you only say things which are symptometic relief which makes me feel good for that tiny few seconds.
i dont want that.

2009-07-31T04:44:00.002+12:00

it' real late now,
but i cant really sleep,

i miss ruffling your hair):
and sniffing you all over.

i just miss your presence,
think i'm suffering darling withdrawal symptoms. )):

thank you for being the sweetest girlfriend anyone could have for the past week.
i feel very very very loved ((:

and i hope i can make you feel loved too. please tell me what you want,
dont tell me you just want sleep can?
):
cos we all know sleep means i dont get to see you unless i sneak over,
if we have a place together,
i'd love to sleep with you for as long as you like (:

night night precious.
i love you((:
& i want to be with you till we're old and frail very badly (:

2009-07-21T02:34:00.002+12:00

))):

i'm really sorry about friday night.
and now again,
)):

i wish i could tell you what's going through my mind but even i cant understand myself and why is it this way.

there's alot of things i dont understand about you.
and you dont really give me a chance to understand.

2009-07-14T03:42:00.001+12:00

i'm starting to hate the stupid hamsters,
tmd,

so tiny but stinks up a whole damn room

fuckers

2009-07-14T00:22:00.001+12:00

i miss you ):

2009-07-11T03:35:00.003+12:00

heh our silly little xi-nu-ai-le game! darling we have a lot of silly little games hor?
like just now on bus we came up with the thumb revolving game!
fast-slow-fast-reverse-fastfast-slowreverse-fastreverse-slow!

2009-07-11T03:27:00.006+12:00

Evidence of hair pulling!!

2009-07-11T02:44:00.002+12:00

my poor baby is sad now over her prac test :(
i feel sad too, and guilty - it's partly my fault that you didn't go for prac practice.

nevertheless darling, i just wanna tell you that
no matter what happens i got your back and that you have me forever!! <3 <3 <3
i really do love you so very much you know?
even though i admit sometimes i'm petty and i made you sad :(
sorry.

i came across the horoscope compatibility and i think it's quite true!
so i pasted on our blog! :D
i like the part about how i will start sth and you will take over and continue.
and how i can be overly sensitive and you're emotionally stable.
it just sounds so perfect :)
all that's missing is having our own home!
then we can roll roll hug hug shake your head again!!
and i will never ever fight with you again.
cos i'll be the happiest person on earth to be able to watch you sleep and watch you wake every day.

that's long term.
short term wise i think i'll work to finance us after i graduate.
i don't want you to toll between work and school.
i'll have a stable income and save up and we can go uni together!

i love a life with you, darling. i've always enjoyed being with you :)
sorry for all the times i was an asshole.
but i really love you.
i'm sorry really.

i love you! :D

2009-07-10T20:54:00.000+12:00

Cancer & Taurus Romantic Compatibility
When Taurus and Cancer come together in a love affair, it's usually a very good combination. They are two positions apart within the Zodiac, and such Signs tend to share karmic ties and a deep mutual understanding. These particular two Signs have much in common: Both prize security in a love relationship above almost all else; both tend to be nurturers (Cancer is emotionally nurturing while Taurus loves to spoil their lover with sensual delights, gifts and good, rich meals). They're both quite domestic and love a quiet night spent at home with their sweetie.
The Taurus-Cancer partnership tends to be a happy one due to this mutual enjoyment of the security and comfort of home. They love a solid home base, a strong relationship, nice possessions, good food: all the comforts of domestic life. Theirs is often the ideal family that people of other Signs strive for, with strong ties between them and a relationship that is family-oriented rather than toward the outside world. Their only major problems arise when Taurus insists on having its own way and Cancer responds by sulking. Taurus must understand Cancer's emotional sensitivity, and Cancer needs rely on open, honest communication than on emotional blackmail.
Taurus is ruled by Venus (Love) and Cancer is ruled by the Moon (Emotions). Both of these celestial bodies vibrate with feminine energy. Cancer often keeps emotions bottled up and simmering inside, which can lead to occasional boil-overs. Thus, Cancer is attracted to Taurus's open, honest, unafraid nature. As the Moon controls the tides of the Earth, quietly affecting all life, so does Cancer, manipulating behind the scenes. Cancer tends to be sentimental, and both partners prefer to enjoy each other rather than socializing with large groups.
Taurus is an Earth Sign and Cancer is a Water Sign. Water and Earth are compatible as tangible, physical entities. As a Water Sign, Cancer is born to nurture an Earth Sign like Taurus the way rain nurtures Earth and helps crops grow. In turn, Taurus tends to have a more stable view of life than does Cancer and is less prone to emotional turmoil; therefore, Taurus can help Cancer stabilize their tumultuous feelings. Both Signs must be careful in this relationship, however: Taurus may tire of Cancer's mood swings, and Cancer may in turn feel that Taurus is insensitive to their needs.
Taurus is a Fixed Sign and Cancer is a Cardinal Sign. Taurus has Fixed habits; they won't change an opinion once it's formed. This can provide Cancer with an emotional rock, as Taurus is entirely dedicated to the relationship. In turn, Cancer can bring new inspiration to the relationship and start new projects that Taurus will enjoy taking over later.
What's the best aspect of the Taurus-Cancer relationships? The steady, reliable team they make. Both Signs are dependable and nurturing, strongly oriented toward domestic life together. A mutual love of home and security makes theirs an ideal long-term, family relationship.

2009-07-06T03:00:00.002+12:00

darling i'm sorry.
can you not be mad at me anymore?

:"(

i found sth. the last entry of our ashandqing.blogspot.com
it makes me cry.

i miss you.
will you forgive me?

2009-07-05T06:37:00.001+12:00

http://www.fredperry.com/bags/tarpaulin-rucksack.html

2009-07-03T04:01:00.004+12:00

darling & insectasaurus!! :D

i LOVE I LOVE I LOVE!!

darling i'm super super tired now

and you're very very very very tired too ):

we havent been doing the right thing cos for the past 1 month it's been dvd at night sleep in for the morning and eating shopping being happy plus drum drum

and i forgot to wish you happy birthday on the blog !! ):

hmm

today!

my darling said something very very cute!

hair is supposed to stay on your head!!

hehehe!

ok, for this, i'm going to gtry to curb my hair pulling disorder again ok?!!?

i dont want darling to go to school to spread martyrdom ):

we should just go cycle

and make money

and then take the weekend to mug without stress

2009-06-21T06:24:00.001+12:00

The folks at Pixar helped a dying girl fulfill her final wish when one of their employees hand delivered a DVD of the film Up to the family's residence for a private screening.
10-year-old Colby Curtin was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer in December 2005, and ever since she saw a preview for Up, she'd been excited for the poignant film about a man who goes on an adventure after the loss of his wife by tying balloons to his house and flying away.
After the family had made a request that was never fulfilled for a wheelchair to take Colby to the theaters, a family friend began frantically calling Pixar as Colby's health dramatically worsened.
Finally the friend got through the automated messaging system by guessing a name. Pixar immediately sent out an employee to the girl's home in Huntington Beach armed with a DVD of the film and a gift basket of toys. The family sat around to a private screening.
Colby had difficulty keeping her eyes open through the film because of the pain she was in, so her mother narrated it to her.
Colby died 7 hours later and we hope her final moments were that much more comfortable for having her final wish granted!
Rest in peace, little angel.

so sad ):

2009-06-20T15:44:00.002+12:00

2009-06-19T19:35:00.001+12:00

You get in the biggest fights
with the people you care about the most
because those are the relationships
you’re willing to fight for.
-chrisabigail

2009-06-15T01:12:00.001+12:00

somehow
we have a tendency to care most for those who doesnt even give for our existence.
likewise,
i always run back to the source of all my pain.

2009-05-28T04:07:00.001+12:00

you perceive everything to go the way you see them and expect them to be.
like
on the count of 3
1, 2, 3.

that's it.

they dont.

2009-05-28T04:02:00.002+12:00

i'm having fever right now. and gastric.
but you seem to be more interested in playing your meaningless little spy game.
you totally disregarded me when i told you i was having gastric.

you've been telling me about having affairs and then the next moment you say you love me.
i don't know what to think.

everything has a cause and effect, you're right about that.
while i am steering us into a positive direction,
i really don't know why you give me that 'one step forward, two steps back' feeling time to time.

that's all i have to say. good night.

2009-05-27T04:42:00.000+12:00

i'm so sorry baby ):
i feel so bad for being such a bitch to you today ):
and now you're down with fever again,

and i cant do much and dont really want to disturb):
cant sleep

2009-05-17T08:42:00.003+12:00

2009-05-13T04:40:00.002+12:00

hello darling
i'm down with a bad cold ):
or whaatever it is, and i cant sleep now cos my stomach's feeling weird ):

heh,
just want to let you know,

i felt and still feel very very warm and blessed when you came down all the way just to hug and kiss and walk me home.
totally romanced by your gesture of love!

especially when you extended your long long arms to hug me even when we're still 10m apart (:

and thank you for star trek tonight darling!
haha, i was really scared that my impeccable test will go wrong then you'll stop to listen to me.
yeah lor, actually i made you watch quite many shit movies.
avp tops the list.

alright i'm going to try to sleep my fever away (:

when i was on the cab with you just now, thoughts of how wonderful things will be once i graduate was all i could think of. you know you know?
bet you dont! :D

2009-05-12T17:38:00.002+12:00

darling you're in class now
5 hour lecture and cannot use hp
so i'm talking to you here :)

i ate subway teriyaki in a rush
cos i saw wrongly thought my class is at 1pm when it's at 2pm -.-'
i am v blur

so now i'm at comp lab
moe & seab replied me regarding 'A' levels -i could still apply!
but they thought i'm going to apply for this year

i told them i'll be 26 when i sit for the 'A's
v v v sad - almost a decade older than the rest of the cohort :(
but i'm still going ahead with it - let's go get jiayi's notes soon

i wanna ask you to join me at the muay thai trial tmr
but not sure if you're interested
so i will wait for you to tell me then i go down tmr to pay :)

i am looking forward to this weekend!
really wanna break into a sweat and chill out a bit
sentosa on fri and ecp on sat/sun! :D

but only at night cos we both hate the sun haha
just checked movie timing - star trek at 7pm at grand cathay
i will skip math tutorial (i haven't done any tutorial!!) and we can go town to catch it

so this weekend i gotta mug a bit
cos we both know we won't mug during the 3-week break haha
i miss the cold cold convention centre mugging with you with corntos and hot tea

2month+ of hard work and self-discipline
and i'll get my lasik
i really hope things will go smoothly for me for once - i scared

miss you baby
i felt so romantic and sweet coming to you last night just to hug and kiss and walk you home
i'm sleepy now at school - but that's cos of the weather :D

2009-05-07T02:42:00.000+12:00

i don't know why but after reading those past haloscans
i started shaking
badly.

2009-04-21T05:11:00.002+12:00

thank you darling,
for showering me with so much love, care, being so patient and understanding all the time, not to mention how accommodating you are. how you can and you are the only person in this world who can tolerate my unreasonable moodswings and irritating-ness.

you laugh it off as if i'm the cutest thing in the world when i cant even stand myself a second after i say things like
i'm TEEEEEEEEEN points better than you.

i wish i can spend the whole of my 21st birthday with you.
without a worry for anything else in this world.

like how i slept on you today on 74express.
as if there's nobody else around us.
until tv mobile started blasting indian songs,
such rude awakening to my sweet little dream bubble ):

all mine!
and i'm all yours.
(:

i love you
:D

2009-04-19T05:14:00.000+12:00

only i know what i really meant for this entry to scream

2009-04-16T08:55:00.002+12:00

i'm sorry. can't u just forgive me? i got gd news. please call me back.
ash | 07.10.06 - 5:55 am | #

ash's precious. always. please... i'm going nuts. all i want is just to hear from you.

i'd fight everything. i can't lose u.
ash | 07.10.06 - 6:00 am | #

DARLING. I REALLY TRIED TO GET TO YOU. BUT UR DAD IS GONNA CALL THE COPS. PLS. IM HELPLESS AND ALONE. CALL ME BACK. OR JUST TEXT. IM INJURED TOO. I WANT YOUUUUUUU...

DO I HAVE TO KILL MYSELF TO PROVE I LOVE YOU? I WILL.

THINK ABT US.
ASH'S PRECIOUS'S PRECIOUS | 07.10.06 - 6:41 am | #

TELL ME U LOVE ME STILL/
I DO/ I DON'T KNOW HOW NOT TO/
THE 'HIM' U HATE/ IS IT UR DAD?
I ONLY LOVE YOU AND WANT YOU!!!!!
i've always been there. im begging u now. just answer ur house phone. i've been callin the whole day.

can u move on? ash's precious?

i can't
i'm losing...
my mind.
ASH'S PRECIOUS'S PRECIOUS | 07.10.06 - 6:44 am | #

I WANNA REACH TO YOU.

I DON'T KNOW HOW.

PLS HELP ME.
ASH'S PRECIOUS'S PRECIOUS | 07.10.06 - 6:45 am | #

GIVE ME ONE LAST CHANCE.

THERE WERE SO MANY CHANCES BTWN US.

I WILL KILL MYSELF IF I DON'T HEAR FROM YOU BY TMR 12NOON.

I LOVE YOU. ALWAYS WILL BE LOVING YOU

DO U WANT ME TO DIE? TO MAKE UP FOR ALL THE HURT? IM INJURED TOO DARLING. AND MAMA IS TRYING HER BEST TO KEEP US APART. DON'T

DON'T DONT

DON'T!
ASH'S PRECIOUS'S PRECIOUS | 07.10.06 - 6:47 am | #

and now it's the whole world against me. everyone. im suffering. and all i want is you.
ASH'S PRECIOUS'S PRECIOUS | 07.10.06 - 6:48 am | #

qing loves ash! qing loves ash!

*humph!

wha lau! fuck u lah!

ASH'S PRECIOUS'S PRECIOUS | 07.10.06 - 6:48 am | #

how abt ash_precious@hotmail for msn?

darling can u sneak out tonight and we run away together?

just sneak out tonight. i need to see you. call me from a pay phone if your dad is phone jailing you...

i trust that u can get back to me!

loves love. so much.

what happened to ur sim?
ASH'S PRECIOUS'S PRECIOUS | 07.10.06 - 6:50 am | #

DARLING.
I WILL WAIT FOR YOU.
JUST DON'T GIVE UP.
ON US.

TRY TO GET BACK TO ME IF U CAN.
IM VERY HELPLESS AND DESPERATE.

MEET AT NYGH TONIGHT???? CALL ME WHEN U REACH?????? I HAVE TO SEE YOU.
ASH'S PRECIOUS'S PRECIOUS | 07.10.06 - 6:55 am | #

i will wait. for you.

i know u wanna see me too. but u can't.

you're resourceful and smart darling.
my precious

i will wait for you to get to me with news. meantime i will get money. that's our plan right?

i love you.
ASH'S PRECIOUS'S PRECIOUS | 07.10.06 - 7:03 am | #

hey, i will be sleeping outside ur house at the staircase... when both ur parents are out, i will pass u a phone and sim ok? try to ask mama out to buy u food? ok ok?! don't angry anymore. im doin all i can. miss u so much. i cant stop crying. cant slp. didn't eat. and i won't eat til u forgive me.
LATEST PLANS | 07.10.06 - 8:10 am | #

tomorrow i have interview at eleven, hmv. I will go and get your sim card, get you a phone. i will be jar-heading at the staircase. fix a time with me ok, like maybe 4am, when both your parents are out or asleep. i will just pass you the phone so that you can contact me ok? hide it well. dont be scared, im here. you are never alone. would you want this arrangement?
READ THIS ; VERY IMPORTANT | 07.10.06 - 9:26 am | #

my parents wanna separate us. they dont understand. but i do. you do. we jarhead together and im gonna get lots of money.
ash's precious : | 07.10.06 - 10:00 am | #

you broke my heart. and you nearly break my neck.
explanations can be done here.
all the best for your interview.
get on with life.
qing | 07.10.06 - 11:13 am | #

randomly, i stumbled across this,
and my haloscan from years back till i met you,

and my entries from 03 till 06.

friends, family, frenemies,
i had it all
same goes for you.

remember how you hugged me and told me that if you were to be given a chance to choose your life all over again, you'll still want things to go the same way cos you cant bear to part with me?
on my room floor after our fight that night?
ha, the night you pulled a chris brown plus call police (:
nono, i'm not angry ok?
i just thought that's really sweet.

& it's the same,
exactly the same feeling i have, about you.
(:

you're a very special person to me.
the first person i want, for no apparent reason,
a desire so strong it's more of a need for survival

2009-04-16T03:51:00.001+12:00

1. transparent tongue stud
2. wear specs to look old
3. wear the green and maroon dress to even older
4. wear the green flats to look demure
5. DO NOT wear the chunky t&co bracelet to look very poor and not hip
6. WEAR the bean necklace to look more demure
7. straighten hair, no hairband DO NOT tie up to look old

8. check up what's in sec 2 maths syllabus.

omg, i'm so stressed up seriously.

2009-04-15T05:39:00.001+12:00

darling i totally love being with you,
sorry for not talking much these days,
i just dont want you to strain yourself.

i know it hurts for you to talk. )):

hope you can recover soon soon soon! :D

hopefully totally recover by my birthday!
i want to go on a foodie hunt and glutton spree with you for just a day too!

hug me soon please?
never have i thought i'll be so hug-sick
the kind of very squished up squash me tightly hug.
dont you miss it too?

2009-04-13T17:28:00.001+12:00

fuck,
majorly pissed off.

2009-04-13T05:37:00.003+12:00

(:

darling i'm so glad i have you.

i'm sorry for being such a difficult brat today. ):

you know how i wish i can be happy and cheer you up all the time,
but i promise i'll make you smile and laugh tomorrow (:
as always.

i dont want anything more badly than you and just you.

let's work doubly hard for our tiny cosy apartment somewhere in singapore!
then a not so tiny loft somewhere in the world ok? (:
i love you. night precious.

2009-04-13T02:24:00.002+12:00

i wish you could decipher all my qingnagrams,
the one which i told you is a keyboard shift.

i wish you can say
YAHLOR!!
when i tell you that ants are very smelly after you squash them with your finger and sniff their carcass or what's remaining of them.

i wish you can tell
when i'm not really smiling cos there's something to be happy or glad about
but indeed, i'm smiling cos there's absolutely nothing to be happy about.

i think i'm asking for too much.
but right now i just wish you can eat and be happy again,
i'm sorry about your teeth.
hugs.

2009-04-13T02:19:00.003+12:00

arrogant pretty bitch
on the out,

insecure paranoid lamb
in hiding.

2009-04-12T02:17:00.002+12:00

darling wo hen xiang ni!!! :((
thanks for coming down just to watch me eat 2 ice lollies.
really missed you alot today, was v happy to see you!
hope your laptop shopping was a fruitful one!
i go check out sony vaio SR now... which color are you getting darling?

anyway i sadd :((
looking thru' our timetable now, v shitty.
plus i still got so many tuition.
i'm really going to save up for lee hung ming then NO MORE SURGERY (hopefully!)
on days when i start late i'll come to school to have lunch with you and study in library ok?
omg subway opens in late april!

another 6 months then i'll be discussing what i'll be doing after graduation.
i'm fine with anything really.. all i want is our tiny cosy little home!
:D

ok gotta stop here, wound pain pain.
i stay in bed and wait for you to get home darling!
<3

2009-04-11T04:03:00.002+12:00

hello baby,

this period's gonna be real tough for you, )):
i know how it feels really, or maybe partially, cos i dont think my piercing's half as bad as removal of teeth plus bone,

i really want to hug you very tight and stroke you to tell you things will be fine soon, but besides thinking of what kind of food will be good for you, i cant and i dont really dare to do much.
cos you're so frail and fragile, now you're really my frail girl :D
ok that's not good.
i scared if i hug you too tight your wound will spur blood ):

hope you can recover soon love...
then i'll get to hug you again, not to mention eat and chomp chomp ohmmohmmm food down with you. i love to watch you eat.
it's systematic and consistent and you make all food look smell and sound good(:

dont give up ok? and dont be too scared, once you feel good enough, we can try to let you eat more variety, the soup today at cjade's awesome.

you look grouchy and tired i heartbreak):

i'll make sure i wake up early tomorrow to bring you food! :D
i'm thinking of going for kahmin since i've got nothing much to do.

see how first.

alot of misses. ):

i miss falling asleep with you on your tiny bed with my tiny space beside qing's wall.
which is in ash's room.

2009-04-10T17:14:00.002+12:00

darling i just put on the retainer and it hurts :'(
but no choice, my last tooth is shaky and loose and i really think it's caused by the extraction of the wisdom beside it.
swelling is just as bad as ever. i read online that it takes about 10 days to de-swell.
and the nuh ppl quite dumb to give me a straw to drink because the suction will cause more bleeding and even a 'dry socket'. which sounds serious but i don't know what it is-ask dr hong next week.

i'm quite pissed at my dad still. not for what happened yesterday, but the fact that he loves to smoke inside the house and expects you to carry out a convo with him while he's fagging away. he initiated a convo just now; i couldn't stand the cigarette smell and i walked away.

all men are damn gross.

2009-04-10T02:47:00.000+12:00

by the way baby,

she's one of the judges for national gymnastics,
:|

2009-04-10T02:42:00.001+12:00

by the way darling!

can dont scold me? )): i scared

2009-04-10T02:39:00.000+12:00

i called karen saying i'm cindy when i'm amy cos i was too tired,
but no worries, i was lucky enough to twist the story to that cindy's amy's sister and amy's having sorethroat. and that i'm calling to inform her.

omg, so tomorrow i'm calling back again

:|

better, i found out amy yee's full name is
yee kah yin amy
and she graduated from nus chemical and biomolecular engineering
-.-

2009-04-09T02:16:00.000+12:00

today is a very very special day!

my darling removed 3 wisdom tooth :|:| at one shot.

out of which 2 are impacted.

so she's now in the hospital trying to sleep):

poor baby, she looks like a very cute fat hamster hiding alot of food in her mouth
so much that she cannot open her mouth wide wide anymore

i'm going to sleep in 15min! :D

so i can wake up and appear right next to her in the morning to check her out (:

hehe,

hugs tightly. i love it when you sniff me all over,
my hair will all stand,
in the nice way. <3

2009-04-06T05:50:00.004+12:00

2009-04-02T03:42:00.002+13:00

hello baby,
today was so eh,
weirdly eventful! :D

2009-04-01T01:06:00.002+13:00

my turn to blog! :)

i'm still sneezing v badly darling. and fever's coming up. :(
must really recover fast fast. so many things coming up...

like dance
london
hospital
tuition

yeah, 6 hours tuition is crazy. don't think i'll ever attempt that again :S

2009-04-01T00:48:00.002+13:00

today's a very special day!

31/3 shall be our pee in a bucket/plastic bag day from now on.

we have to do it every year ok?

hehehe.
it's so hilarious that i couldnt hold my laughter in even when your papa's just next door.
that i have to resort to vibrate-laughing in your comforter to muffle the giggles.
but darling! you look so matter-of-fact and seriously when you semi sit over the red bucket.
i should have snapped a pic but i thought that'll really make us both lol then we'll be not so giggly when your papa go
OEI! GEI WO CHU LAI!!!!!

hmm,
ok la not so funny cos my baby is very sick ):

i hope you recover very soon it's going to be 8pm, let's go to bed.
so not us,

i'm sorry for taking up space on your bed and also stealing your blanket last night

hugs.
be mine forever ok? <3333
serious, please dont divert your thoughts to my bloody valentine.

2009-03-30T03:02:00.002+13:00

my darling's at tuition, her 6th hour of the day, it's crazy, i've never done it before and the thought of it's already making me cringe.

my darling's not listening to me, neither is she showing any signs to succumbing to her fatigue and painful teeth. i think she's trying to avoid time with me, cos she once told me " if i put tuition from day to night, you're answerable to that, dont blame me"
ok la, she didnt fashion the sentence to be as mean and bitchy as me, but it's something along that line, just meaner. omg i'm contradicting myself, but anyhow, i'm very scared now.

i want more time with my darling, but i think it's only possible when she's in the hospital. then i'll be doing facial masks for her again, good thing's i saw a little towel that's complimentary with purchase of the japanese candy on her room's floor near the everlast shoe box. darling please remember to give that to me, i'm going to do face masks for you again ok?

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, i want to go cycling with darling. but i think that's only possible like next next next week, when school's back on again. tmd, i hate school, school = kfc macs ytf and all the boring food.
plus i wont be able to laugh and mock sherwyn anymore cos he's going to forward modules tmd. that sucks.

ok, i'm goign to pack room now,

i hope darling can text me soon it's getting so late ):

2009-03-25T04:38:00.002+13:00

darling my neck is still hurting and now my wisdom tooth is joining in the fun :(

darling i'm actually quite timid. i think you're in many ways more brave than me. -shy
i'm scared when it comes to any type of surgery.
but what gets me thru' is knowing you're right outside and i can see you after the op.

i know you will extra sayang me since i really quite poor thing :'(
i look forward to all that extra sayang hehehe!

i'm so marh fan. and high maintenance. sighhh.

darling i miss you! and i bet you're hungry cos you always get hungry around this time at night!
:D

2009-03-24T05:59:00.002+13:00

my darling very cute!!

hehehe,
she wants to blog about

1) the very witty and bitchy line from her
it's very unbalanced just like jean danker's face

2) the cornetto she got with meeeeeeeee, supper supper suppppper,

3) and how nice she has been these few days!

but i've been very ting hua and i behaved myself these few dayss

hehehe

4) one more thing! my darling gave me all the very nice food these few days!!
everyday is nice fooody day!

2009-03-24T05:42:00.003+13:00

i hope your wisdom tooth thing can go away soon,
and hopefully it's not as bad as we both think,
haha, like it or not i think we're both pretty paranoid when it comes to ailments and health.

darling will i die?!??!

yeah, that's me. not you. (:

so tomorrow we'll go to school to get some stuff done to feel purposeful and on task.
then we get to nuh for your dental appointment. (:

i cant wait to dance! on thurs!:D
hehe.

hughugs. i miss you.
you're eating curry and rice at home now my poor little baobei.
so thrifty. ):
i feel very bad for spending so much of your money,

the royal french blue adidas jacket i dug out and you looted away successfully:D
then we bai tan zi
hahahaha! :D

hmmm,
i'm sorry about the 200 over bucks i spent baby )):
will put back okokok?
i just called you and you hung up on me ):
think you're really angry with me

2009-03-22T05:14:00.002+13:00

ashh: and i'm set thinking. as long as i have you, i think i'll do just fine with anything anywhere.
(because like what you said, everybody wants different things in life. and i want you)

qingg: sama sama. the liu pi's earning more but nobody can stand her mole.

HAHAHA! typical ke ai de xiao wu liao :D

i just want to remember this moment.

2009-03-21T05:24:00.002+13:00

hello darling!!!

i just RSVP the next adidas bootcamps for us!
i like to go for torture camps with you!
and thurs dance = torture camp
i hope your muscle aches go away soon

darling our holidays seem to be flying past...
i wanna spend some quality time with you leh
can you sleep over this coming sun - mon?
i promise i'll clean up my room and stock up on foods and dvds! :D

i miss miss you. alot :(
you're in the shower now
call you when ur out love!

2009-03-20T06:13:00.002+13:00

DARLING!

you know how much i long for you right now? ):
i dont think you knowww.

alotalotalotalotalotttt..

like the kind that's so bad i cant bring myself to doing anything or putting my mind to rest while my body's giving wayyy.
4 hrs of dance is seriously no joke. tmd, i havent done this in a long while.
and baby i'm really proud of the improvements you've been making. i think you have the potential to do really well but you really gotta make your actions bigger and be more bhb,
(:
otherwise, you're catching the steps fine,
your rhythm's better than mine.
if not for you today at dance, i dont think i can hold it out for the last hour.

now we're both exhausted like eh i dont know
like cows after one day of field ploughing.

tomorrow's going to be another longlong day for us.
gotta wake up early to laundry, and do hamhams.
hahaha. i like to watch them look happy and run on the wheel after cleaning their cages (:

dont worry i wont put them together.

baby must really swear off all fast food ok?
if not the progress you make goes nowhere but back to your tumtum.
i shall be a good role model and do likewise.
let's eat only grilled and steamed stuff kayy?
you can get your carbonara soon!
i remember alright?
but just not after a day of exercise, it'll be such a waste to what we've done...

ok,
it's just all midnight nags.

cant wait to see you tomorrow my little big hamham.
with smelly armpits that i love to put my nose close to.

hughugs!

i love you.
forever.

((:

2009-03-15T03:57:00.003+13:00

questions,
interrogations,
doubts,
uncertainty

hello baby my phone just lit up,
i think you're going to call me soonsoonsoon! :D

i've always thought that one can only trust when there's nothing to lose.
but at the same time,
to not trust is like living in mortal hell ):

you trust me over and over for countless number of times with an infinite list of things and thoughts.
i'll learn.
to be just like you(:

2009-03-15T03:34:00.002+13:00

i wish we can be invisible when we walk around.
we see each other everyday,
but there's rarely chances for us to really hughug without looking around and feeling uncomfortable ):

darling i think my period and yours are coming soon, it's about a month since our papers.

i'm sorry for forcing you to forgo sleep with me for the past 2 nights.
espeically when sleep is your essential. much more important than food.
):

i'm feeling super guilty now )):

i dont know. everytime when i feel anger, i'll eventually end up feeling sorry and sad.
such regret and exasperation. it's all so intense and there's so much thoughts i dont know how to verbalize.

baby i know you have alot to deal with already,
i do keep track of all the major concerns you have about your health, life, studies, family and eventually career.

i'm sorry for being such a materialistic bitch sometimes ):
i love the red nano. and ponyo! (:
and it's the best birthday present i've ever recieved in my life.
there's nothing else i want more than being able to feel close to you everynight.

and that want, has been the same for at least 2 years now.

you're right i'm stupid ):
i always do things opposing to what you say and suggest,
not only that, but insist that you go the same way.

our life now is not exactly perfect i know.
although things have definitely settled towards stability,
i'm not giving you what you want.
and you're always giving me what i want.

dont worry kay?
i wont give you only ice cream anymore, in fact i'll stop you sharply.
your whines wont work i'll close my eyes and shut my ears.

your wants are mine as well.

we wasted quite alot of money today i know ))):

but i'm getting money tmr!:D

and next friday!! :D
my balance will be 500+ by next weekend ok?

hughugs.

2009-03-13T09:39:00.002+13:00

there's no need for sorrys
it's just my own pain and fear that's haunting me and nibbling on my sanity every now and then.

you know how well i keep track of dates and things.
in chronological aspect.

sometimes i wish i can watch over my things just the same

i'm sorry darling,
i love you ):

2009-03-13T05:33:00.002+13:00

we have been so happy these few days. (why do you have to revisit the past every now and then?)

if i say a sincere sorry, will you talk things out with me?

:(

2009-03-11T06:24:00.001+13:00

hello darling!

ponyo ponyo!
and red nanoooooo.

and pot pourri

hehhehehe

lalalala

2009-03-09T06:04:00.000+13:00

hello darling!
am i the ONE?!?!?!

10 Signs that you've got the ONE
1. ChemistryYou can't explain it, but Cupid's arrow hit hard and you are mad about this person. They are the most beautiful being you've ever known and you can't wait to learn everything about them. Sparks are flying but you also feel a connection that is comfortable and familiar... almost like you already know them - and maybe you do from a past life. You feel at ease with this person and passionate all at once.

2. BalanceThough you desire each other endlessly you also have a harmonious relationship in which you find intellectual and emotional stimulation. As the cliché goes, not just your lover but your friend. (Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain, anyone?) You, quote,"simply enjoy time together in a myriad of ways". No ruts, couch potatoes or bar flies here of course ...TV nights and a drink are fun, although you have so many other things to do together you've had to Tivo the last five episodes of your favorite program.

3. Respect and compromiseWe all get consumed by the flames of passion, but true love also means mutual respect. Do you respect each other's time? Maybe you have very different careers or interests. Maybe your schedules are night and day, but treating each other with respect and taking each other's needs into account is key. Compromise is par for the course, be it compromise that is respectful to both parties. If you need the United Nations to settle your disagreements, then maybe it's not your ideal match.

4. TimeSo you respect their time - now do you make time for them and vice versa? It seems like with more ways of communicating these days - email, texting, instant messaging - people have a fast food sense of connecting. Your sweetie not only makes time to pick up the phone and have a real conversation but when they see you, they're not sending texts and taking calls the whole time. It takes quality time to make a quality relationship work.

5. MuseThroughout history painters, writers and musicians have created masterpieces, written sonnets and symphonies inspired by their muse. Now you don't have to be Picasso or Mozart, but if they make you want to try and rhyme a couple of lines or even sing a romantic tune out loud, then maybe you've found your muse in this inspiring match.

6. Self-improvementRemember Jack Nicholson's famous line in As Good As It Gets - "You make me want to be a better man." Does your significant other make you want to grow and be a better person for yourself and for the relationship? True love is also love for ourselves so we can be fully present with others. If you keep evolving, so will your relationship.

7. EmotionsWhen you've met the right person, you know you can share your vulnerabilities with them. Not only can you laugh together but you can cry with each other and feel at ease. A good match is not just a fair weather date but someone who can handle the ups and downs that inevitably occur. If so, go ahead and break out the tissues for your Saturday night movie!

8. LaughWhen you see each other, you bring a smile to each other's faces. Even at the end of a bad day, one look from your special someone has you relaxing already. You make each other laugh and you have a good sense of humor about the relationship. Laughter can get you through a lot because even when you're perfect together, life still poses challenges. If you can deal with them as a couple and still make each other smile, you have better staying power even when Mercury goes retrograde.

9. Au naturalThat same fox or vixen you saw on the town last night sometimes wears sweat pants and a t-shirt sans deodorant. Does their natural scent make you want to pounce on them or break open the fire hydrant? Scent is a driving force in attraction. Get past the clouds of perfume and cologne and find an even better smell that you'd like to bottle… your nose knows best!

10. Family and friendsUsually your friends and family know you better than you think they do and often times, they know when they see a good match for you. If your dates are always garnering disapproval but this one has them raving… it's definitely a good sign. Does your match get along with your friends and are they eager to be closer to you by being closer to your network? If your date can break open a beer with your buddies or do brunch with your friends, maybe they'll be calling your parents mom and dad... someday.

Of course, one or more of the above signs will garner an interesting pair, but for your best match, try for ten out of ten.

2009-03-09T05:49:00.001+13:00

hello darling i'm here again! :D
i'm so blur i didn't realise my last entry was missing hahaha.

i'm downloading dance songs as well as soundtracks of slumdog and watchmen! heh!

holidays been so gooooood i don't wanna return to school!
dog farm was fun today!!
i still can't decide between the chihuahua and the haywire terrier!
but shucks i can't get either right now anyway.

darling i'm going to apply cream cream then call you then we go slp!
back to dance tmr and drum drum!
<3 empty arcades on quiet weekdays!

2009-03-09T04:27:00.001+13:00

hello darling i'm going to shwoer now!:D

heheh, thanks for the dog farm visit. i hard alot of fun (:

we'll get our cosy little home,
all decorated and nicely renovated.
i dont mind sharing a room with you really!

then we'll get a hyper wirehair jack russell
or a squiggly little chihuahua!:D

maybe both:D

HEHE

2009-03-06T06:15:00.000+13:00

hello darling!
please be careful when you post entries ok?
your last entry went to another blog -.-

ours now is :D <3s =D
not Gone

anyhow, holiday's been great hasnt it?!!?!?!

i hope you're really enjoying yourself at dance as much as i am!

cos you're showing vast improvement gosh you're real fast for a beginner who's never been to dance before you know you know??
and obviously we made the right choice,

jitterbugs sucks!
so does oschool!

whhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeee i like studio wu!:D:D:D

ok you're going to the law society tomorrow and i dont want you to feel sad and alone so i'm gonna try to wake up early as well to join you in town!
hope you're not going to wear your contacts i heartache to see your eyes swell ))):

night love.

2009-02-19T06:36:00.003+13:00

darling i miss lying flat on the bed watching you apply cream cream in fronta my skinny mirror.
and

kissing you anytime i want
&

give you a hug randomly without having to look around like i'm committing a crime

i like it when you look into your bag pocket with your bottle stucked underneath your arm.
(:

i hope your eczema is improving, please remember to apply steriod until all of it is gone. getting better is not good enough, i can testify for that. nvm, i'll remind you every night.

right now i really do need you to sleep beside me, hold my hand, put your hand on my thigh,
and breathe evenly in and out of my face. wennuan my ear! (((:

i miss you so badly. ):

2009-02-15T01:08:00.001+13:00

hello darling!!!

you are kissing me right now so i cannot blog!
anyway, i've had fun and i love staying with you so much i don't wanna go home now. how? :(

to avoid future confusion, we should just use debit at restaurants so we don't have to tip them!
like now! LONG BEACH time!

my darling just bit me. think she hungry alr. let's go!

2009-02-15T00:47:00.001+13:00

hello darling!

to avoid further confusion and complications. we shall blog down all our expenditures from now on.

:D

2009-02-09T06:55:00.002+13:00

):

i really wish you could write something ):

i miss you.

sometimes i cant stand myself for being so paranoid and imaginative at the same time.
those 2 are one deadly combination to driving both myself and you insane.

i hope whatever great things we've had today, both food and mugging.
including drawing pig and bear (:
your surprise!
has lifted some of your stress a tiny bit.

i'm still doing whatever i can for anatomy

cheat for you tomorrow.
heh.

doing things for you. constructive things.
alright i dont know if helping you cheat is principled but anyhows, i just like to make you feel better.

sometimes some things you say really pricks my heart so bad i'd rather just cut myself and bleed.
like how you told me i put you last on my list.
i could have screamed back at you like how i used to when we were at sengkang
i could have just walked away like how i used to all the time wayyy back.
but staying feels the best (:
i know you didnt mean them
even if you did. i'll just live in denial. & i hope reality'll cease to exit.

2009-02-05T04:54:00.002+13:00

darling i'm very very happy today (((:

i hope you feel a tiny bit of achievement for that 1hrs or so in macs mugging with me.

i just read the horoscope thing )):

no it doesnt make me happy, i must admit i spend alot of your money.

but trust me i'm easily satisified too!!

i'm happy with the fish soup in school and maybe i bit of yong tau foo!

can dont go find the may taurus? )): i scaredddd

i know i suck today i spent so much of your money.

first was at bakerzinn i spent so much on macaroons, then at ding tai fung i spent alot of you toufu vermicelli and xlb. then we went to ddr and drumdrum which is again alot of money and then we went to catch toys. oh no.

finally the cab. i forgot to even give you money to pay omg i suck so bad.

)))))))))))))))))))):

i'll write a mental note ok? from tomorrow on, i'll keep my expenses to 5 dollars!

and then i'll always make sure you have money!

yea!

i miss you baby )):

i like it when you hug and engulf me from behind, makes me feel like i'm a little potato in muacheeeee.

:D:D

and i like to hug you very very tight.

i feel like i'm sandwiching a muacheeeee!

hughughughugs!

ok i think my hair's dried.

feeling super awful now ):

i go check my temperature again ):

omg i almost forgot the movie was alot of money wasted too.

darlinggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

i wont be a leech anymore ok? )))))):

i'll really stick to 5dollars a day!

2009-02-03T07:57:00.000+13:00

Taurus + Cancer

Earth + Water = Mud

Cancer is ruled by the Moon, which means changing moods and emotional highs and lows. But you both have a strong desire to show affection, so when the Cancerian is in an agreeable mood, your friendship will thrive.

This combination is very compatible, and could work well long term. This is becasue Taurus falls in Cancer’s area of friendship and fulfilment: you may be the answer to a lot of Cancer’s needs.

This is not always the case, though. Taurus brings a practical and earthy grounding to someone whose emotions at times are very volatile, and sometimes, this just doesn’t work.

But Cancer can slowly bring about the changes you need for your spiritual growth and fulfilment. And these changes could take place without too much argument from you because they won’t be sudden or imposed — you can live with that!

Don’t forget, some Taureans also have unpredictable mood swings. You may both have to accept that a little moodiness is a part of this relationship. The solution? Leave space for each other. If you do this, your compatibility rating will rise significantly.

There’s excitement and an emotional component in your sexual life with Cancer. This is essential for you — though you are a physical being, you relate well to the emotional input and sensitivity of a Cancerian.

Compassion for each other is a rare thing in relationships these days. This combination is an exception. The Moon and Venus are feminine in nature and highlight the softer characteristics of both parties.

Overall, your compatibility with Cancer is quite high. Cancerians born between 22 June and 3 July are excellent partners. This could be a sensitive and loving relationship.

You will be very attracted to Cancerians born between 4 July and 13 July, because they are ruled by Mars, your marital planet. There’s no doubt a friendship with someone born around this time could blossom into something very special.

Those born between 14 July and 22 July will intrigue you, but they may be better suited to being good friends or associates rather than lovers. The chemistry between you may not have quite enough spark. And spark is vital for a sexually vibrant long-term partnership.

2009-02-03T07:52:00.000+13:00

Cancer + Taurus

Water + Earth = Mud

A relationship between you and Taurus means both of you adjusting to each other’s many shifts in mood. But you both have a strong desire to show your affection to each other, and when you are in a good mood, you’ll have a wonderful connection.

Taurus is like an anchor for your changeable, emotional temperament: they calm the waters and allow friendship and fulfilment between you. They may be the answer to many of your needs. They bring a practical and earthy quality to the partnership and soothe your tension and volatility.

Taureans are also moody, though, so it’s quite likely that you will have intermittent bouts of quarrelling. This is not a serious issue, and will clear up quickly.

You also come bearing gifts to Taurus. You can slowly bring about the changes Taurus needs on their path to spiritual growth. These changes usually happen smoothly, without much of a problem.

You and Taurus in bed have sexual excitement and emotional warmth. This is essential for you. Taurus will relate well to your displays of love. Overall, your compatibility is high.

Generally Taureans work well as friends, but with those born between 11 May and 21 May you can build a secure relationship. They know how to calm your fluctuating emotional states. With these Taureans, you can find everything you look for in terms of domestic and financial future security. The only thing missing is spontaneity; in every other way, this relationship will fulfil you on pretty much every level.

Taureans born between 20 April and 29 April will start out good friends, but will later lose concentration or act against your best interests. Communication is important for these Taureans. Unless you’re interested in sharing ideas and listening to what they have to say, this combination won’t be a good match for you.

If you’re a male Cancer, these Taureans will sucker you into spending lots of money on gifts or into helping them financially when they’re in trouble. This is unusual, because Taurus is generally a stable sign financially. Make sure you set clear boundaries at the very start.

You are intrigued by Taureans born between 30 April and 10 May — their quick wit appeals to you. The two of you will make excellent friends and will have a great time going out and meeting interesting people. You both love the idea of expanding your circle of friends. Your first choice is home-based entertainment, though, and as a couple, you will draw lots of people to your home.

2009-02-03T04:54:00.003+13:00

2009-02-03T04:43:00.000+13:00

(23:25) ashh:	darling ur doing ur best alr
(23:25) ashh:	it's tough to keep pets right now but ur responsible
(23:25) ashh:	come, tell me which reward you want
(23:26) qingg:	darling how many pts do we have?!
(23:26) ashh:	i think over 2000
(23:26) qingg:	-excited!
(23:26) ashh:	i must pay off the latest bill tmr then will have more points
(23:26) qingg:	High Tea Buffet for 2 at Marriott Cafe + $22 SunPerks Points - 2800 Code - 4452
(23:26) qingg:	i want this one!!!
(23:27) ashh:	hahaha ok u sound so excited
(23:27) ashh:	i go see
(23:27) qingg:	hmmm
(23:27) qingg:	is it really veryveryvery nice?
(23:28) ashh:	marriott cafe is the hotel beside far east/tangs?
(23:28) qingg:	yeaa
(23:28) qingg:	darling i go shower ok?
(23:28) qingg:	very tired
(23:28) qingg:	):
(23:28) ashh:	ok go shower
(23:28) ashh:	i do report
(23:28) ashh:
(23:31) ashh:	HAHAHA!!
(23:31) ashh:	what circle of trust lah
(23:31) ashh:	darling you're v funny
(23:31) qingg:	i dont think i am
(23:31) qingg:	nvm
(23:31) ashh:	anyway our m1 points is 2285
(23:31) ashh:	darling why you suddenly ask me that?
(23:32) ashh:	of course you are in my circle of trust
(23:32) ashh:	you're the only one in the circle
(23:32) qingg:	hmph i go change my passwords also!
(23:32) qingg:	tmd
(23:32) ashh:	go change lor
(23:32) ashh:	pw shouldn't be shared what
(23:32) ashh:	but if you want my pw, like if you need it
(23:33) ashh:	of coz i'll give you
(23:33) ashh:	nothing to hide
(23:33) qingg:	i dont need it
(23:33) ashh:	What you really need at this particular moment in time is quiet reassurance from someone close to you to restore your confidence.
(23:33) ashh:	im doing the new colorgenic test
(23:33) ashh:	quite acurate
(23:33) qingg:	i'm not that person
(23:33) ashh:	what's wrong? sigh
(23:34) qingg:	are you talking to her
(23:34) ashh:	if you mean lard
(23:34) ashh:	of course not
(23:34) ashh:	how many times must i tell you...
(23:34) qingg:	nvm i cant be bothered
(23:34) ashh:	1. i am not in contact with her
(23:34) qingg:	seriously if i find out
(23:34) ashh:	2. i never will be
(23:34) qingg:	it's fated
(23:34) qingg:	if i dont
(23:34) qingg:	then
(23:34) qingg:	well i'm in luck
(23:34) ashh:	there's nothing to find out because (read the above 2 poins)
(23:35) ashh:	im sad u know?
(23:35) ashh:	you still dont trust me
(23:35) qingg:	you broke it
(23:35) ashh:	not even after i've changed so much for you
(23:35) qingg:	about just a year ago
(23:35) ashh:	yeah listen to yourself
(23:35) ashh:	a year ago
(23:35) qingg:	time heals
(23:35) qingg:	slow
(23:36) ashh:	and all the things i've done, i'm doing right now? all counts for nothing
(23:36) ashh:	why dont u just say that you're not a forgiving person
(23:36) qingg:	you've changed
(23:36) qingg:	that's why i change too
(23:36) qingg:	but things need time
(23:36) qingg:	i need security
(23:36) ashh:	you like to be forgiven, who doesn't? but you are not one to forgive and forget
(23:36) ashh:	i have given you security
(23:36) ashh:	you broke it first
(23:37) ashh:	since you wanna talk abt the past
(23:37) qingg:	do i have any more reasons to leave?
(23:37) qingg:	do i look like i want to leave?
(23:37) qingg:	on what basis did i leave?
(23:37) ashh:	then do i have any reasons to contact lard?
(23:37) ashh:	why would i?
(23:37) qingg:	well i may not be good enough
(23:37) qingg:	i cant provide for you things she can?
(23:38) qingg:	i'm controlling she's not
(23:38) ashh:	no? we're fine i think we're great
(23:38) ashh:	but not right now when you're doing this again
(23:38) qingg:	she can accept the fact that she's sharing you with somebody
(23:38) qingg:	i cant
(23:38) qingg:	i question i interrogate in certain situations
(23:38) ashh:	fuck
(23:38) qingg:	she doesnt
(23:38) ashh:	i am not an object
(23:38) ashh:	what sharing
(23:38) ashh:	im not some fucking network!
(23:39) ashh:	you shouldnt question and no one should interrogate
(23:39) qingg:	i wont love you if you want love from anywhere else
(23:39) ashh:	you could always ask nicely
(23:39) qingg:	and yeah
(23:39) qingg:	sorry but i'm just like that
(23:39) ashh:	whatever
(23:39) ashh:	i know you're always like that
(23:39) ashh:	im going off
(23:39) ashh:	bye

2009-02-02T05:04:00.004+13:00

my darling is rushing her irritating 2-point pp report right now...

i hope you're not feeling stressed up baby.
poor thing, got so many tests next week
and our baby just popped out another 4 babies

on to happier things!
darling i don't mind taking over the papa hamster to lighten your load
and i can't wait for feb 15th! :D

happy 1st feb today darling! <3
i love you :)

2009-02-01T07:33:00.001+13:00

i cant wait for you to come over,
finally we can snuggle snuggle cosily together again. (:

it's been so long )):

darling i like you today
and yesterday.
i hope you can be this nice forever.

i dont mind hearing you saying you're stressed
destressing you makes me happy! :D

2009-01-31T06:06:00.002+13:00

hello darling! :))

thanks for letting me back on this blog!

darling, i'm really very sorry about yesterday.
i'm not good with words. but i really am sorry :((
i reflected. you're right.
we're both girls, and we both have feelings and sensitivity.
i'm sorry with all the mean words (i don't mean them at all!)
i'm sorry i said them.
i shall go and slap my mouth a few times now.

you are a wonderful gf to me, u know?
i think i should tell you at least once a day how lucky i am to have you.
you are also quite serious and settled when you're mugging (but cannot pull hair!!)
and i know it's time to take a break when you go "darling i restless!"
only you can put up with all my pms-y shitty behaviour (darling i'm sorry again)
you know you sounded so sad on the blog that i can actually feel your sadness? :((

darling you know i really like to send you home even though i admit i was tired? :))
coz sending you home means i get a few more minutes of qing's sweet molecules!
and since i cannot bring you to bed with me, at least let me smell more! :D
today was a simple yet happy day mugging at je library
darling u notice all my smileys are double-chinned? coz i ate too much. (sorry wo bu guai!)

darling i go and finish the last bit of laundry and shower so i can call you asap!
i miss miss you
miss miss your smell
miss miss your voice
even miss miss your cackling when you call me... THE FAT!

The Fat loves The Qing (Princess!)
darling... be with me forever and ever can?
i love you. very much.

:)) <3 :D

2009-01-30T06:45:00.002+13:00

you know i was just scrolling down the older msgs on our tagboard.
cos i feel quite bad for the last 2 msgs i left.
then i realize that, 4 out of 5 times you tag, you write mean things ):

i'll appreciate you more and be more cooperative and easier to handle.
but will you think twice before you say anything or write anything?

i feel.
i listen.
as much as i'd love to forget them,
the pain from the heartache stays ):

i know you dont mean them, even if you do, i'll take it as you dont. (:

2009-01-30T04:47:00.002+13:00

i like you like this

like you most when you look like that.

(: this pic makes me smile even when i'm really sad or confused.

haha, and i dont know about this one (: but, i love you

2009-01-30T03:23:00.003+13:00

why is it always you shouting

fuck off
leave me alone
let me go
dont touch me
i want to be left alone
i dont want to see you
i dont want to talk to you
stop following me
stop calling me
dont call anymore
i hate you
you make me sick

i know i'm always the one making you angry most of the time
but nobody's perfect.
):
like real i'm numb,
i wish i really can be.
but i cant.

2009-01-30T02:25:00.004+13:00

from 21 to 24, the best years of my life, i seriously dont know,
what the fuck you

you know you're very irritating?
to the point of annoying.

we're so different,
we're not compatible at all.

why is it always me compromising, not you?

i dont have anything to say to you

i'm repeating this. DONT CALL

it's like i cant even be myself with you

dont feel like talking to u anymore

i've been training myself not to cry for the past 2 yrs.
and it seems like, i'm going nowhere ):

2009-01-28T22:25:00.002+13:00

hello baby i'm too lazy to find my note book to write the stuff i need to do so yeeeeeeep,
i'm going to write stupid things here ok?

1)get money from tham
2)count the number of pages of notes i printed for microbio and email class
3)write down the dates when i went for kim keat
4)tell jacklyn and jaslyn i cant make it tomorrow cos i need to do my stupid report
5)find the pathology tutorials and pester papa to print the notes for me, go online to save all the files onto my laptop
6) most important! ANYHOW DO THE STUPID RWP REPROT
7)check out the microbio prac how to do and pester bingyang to send me the raw data
9)find the lasik book and the eye thingy books to return must bring to school tmr!
10) text champ to get him to gimme money! say i'm going to be attached to an overseas schoolHAHA, give him a taste of his own medicine
11)remember to hassel the spree organizer for the ben sherman shirt money!!
12)nearly forgot, i need to read thru the gems script. must go for gems this friday.TMD!

2009-01-27T04:39:00.002+13:00

hello baby!

it's nian chuuu yiii.
and it's been quite boring lately cos there's no shop open and we're very logical so we havent been splurging unneccessarily and doing impulsive things.
aside from the midnight movie last night.
tmd, i'm sure those stupid nightrider people are just lazy lor!
made us waste time and money!

darling this yr's going to be good for you!
i know it's not advisable for you to go to the hospital but lasik is done at eye centre!
not hospital! :D:D

so itinery for tomorrow!

you wake up for pather
i wake up for stupid report

you go home to spring clean
i also stay at home to spring clean

you clean somemore at home
i travel to you in woodlands!

we both mug a bit in woodlands!

i go home and you go home!

then we sleep early for wednesday as we start to make more money! :D:D

moneymoney!

wa jin gian ben! :D

le chui kee dua dua!

wa chui kee swee swee!

2009-01-18T03:00:00.001+13:00

i've always thought that i know what hurt is.

but nothing's hurt more than you hurting me,
and what hurts the most is to know how much i've hurt you ):

darling i'm quite happy today. cos you still do let me cling onto you, although not as much as before.
but i'm contented being able to just hold your hand and hug you once in a bit ((((:
lalala

lasik!!!

then we can go for boxing and dance together!! :D:D:D

ok i thnik i'm really sick
i just showered and now it feels like i just ran 3k

waiting for your reply now.
hmmm, i'm sure your contacts are somewhere in your room.
but it's alright!
they'll be discarded soon! rightright?

imissyou
veryveryverybadly ):

2009-01-15T22:17:00.002+13:00

i never wanted to fight with you.
can we stop fighting and hurting and destroying our own lives?

right now teacher is going on about benzene and propylene and i just can't give a shit.
it's not that i want to be moody sometimes i get so stressed inside i suffocate.

school is tough. life is tough.
why make it tougher?

i'm just talking gibberish i think.
(mind's a blank)

2009-01-13T02:19:00.001+13:00

i'm trembling and waiting for the heater ):
temp measures 37.6

i feel down too.
but i'm hoping for a very happy tomorrow :D

2009-01-12T04:50:00.002+13:00

hello darling
i think i'm running a fever now.
so i'll keep this short and hopefully my hair will dry soon
you have tuition tomorrow so early i heartache ):

my poor little teethy baobei
zao shui zao qi shen ti hao
:D

tomorrow marks the end of your tedious 15months probation! :D
it's yours as much as mine in some ways, although i didnt make things any easier for you and only added on to your anxiety and stress.
you're right i'm full of trouble and problem
):
like real i'm worth it. i'm just lucky i found you.
thank you for your motherly instinct.
(:

it took you very long to get use to the curfew i know, in fact, i dont think we ever got used to it. it's always such rush, and eventually, we cab, and still miss the 10pm mark.

we should seriously take some time out to plan for a relaxing day and really just dillydally and muck around and do nothing and slowly make our way home :D

can can?

and then hopefully in feb my parents can go overseas we take 1 day out to cook a full 3 dish 1 soup plus rice meal! :D

and then also one day for a 5 course meal! :D

lalala.

i love being with you
darling when you said, you've never gave a thought about how life'll be great without me, cos you're already with me(: i was really really touched.

there are times when i dreamt that i'm back in hwachong done well for a's and proceeded to uni, and i wake up crying cos you're missing ):

2009-01-06T03:56:00.002+13:00

i dont know how to keep my emotions in check.

seriously, i myself dont know what's going through my mind.

switching your phone off.

zero reply.

vanishing and getting angry at me.

obviously, it's all justified.

i just hope you're fine at home and can sleep and your fever'll go away.

i swear i was crazy.

it scares me. alot.

2009-01-03T03:11:00.002+13:00

THIS IS A VERY SERIOUS BLOG ENTRY.
.
..
...
....
.....

Gotcha! Didn't I? :D
Ok, now that I have your attention...

"darling you're on the mrt on your way home now and i don't know when you'll be reading this...

i was just thinking back about those days when we had nothing, and all we had was each other :)
even though we were v poor and living on only instant for some time, i was happy.
but sometimes it's scary when i think back, coz those days we were both v unstable...

i guess what i'm trying to say is we just need to discuss and plan together and maybe strike a balance?

i could earn all the money i can possible earn from all the good assignments right now.
but my gf is unhappy inside and losing her beautiful hair,
my room is perpetually in a state of mess and filth,
i'm under a lot of stress struggling to cope with both school and work..

i guess this is what they mean when they say you can't have everything going your way.
and if i get to choose only one,
i'll still choose you over everything else :)

i'm going to replan my workload. meaning i'm going to drop some tuition.
and fix a date and monetary target for my lasik.

sounds good?
but it also means we cannot eat good food anymore (not so often anyway)
cannot buy too much clothes (maybe the online spree is my first and last)
replace movies with free dvds in school media room

instead we'll get to spend more time doing cheapo things together
like going to the gym, mugging in school, read books in library
OF COURSE WE ARE GOING TO GO FOR DANCE/MUAY THAI :D
(i'm just thinking whether i'm cut out for dance coz i've tried and failed many times at it?)

what do you think baby?

2008-12-25T04:57:00.003+13:00

thank you baby for today
and yesterday
and the day before (:

i know you're trying to make me happy contented qing all the time,
sourcing out for new place which is fun to me.
new activities which can keep me entertained.
while you're always so easily contented and working without much complaints.

baby, why didnt you tell me how much of a brat i was/am? ):
last xmas must be such a stressful thing to you cos i was irritating you about how not fun it was ):
sorry.

do you know i'm really happy now just sitting in the media room watching dvd with you? (:
and sitting at the mrt station getting to hug you tight tight or watch you talk about your day.
or look at the funny looking peanut candy your stingy lakshimi gave you.

this xmas is just so blissful and i'm truly happy ((:
who cares about how those on orchard are spraying foams,
or how others are partying away,
or some are feasting on turkeys (but still, darling can we try once? after we have a place tog? i want to sleep heavy with you after turkey not alone)

i'm happy with the 2 hrs walk with you at east coast park. cos i get to hold your hand (:
and darling! you know i was really touched? by how you cleaned the toilet just so i can shit comfortably?
it's ok about the ski360 (:
i think it's better that we go after you're done with lasik.
let's work extra hard after new year ok?

and thank you for long beach and manhattan market. that's luxury seafood 2 days in a row.
crazy!
so expensive 170
we can like eat in foodcourt for a month! and even more!

i go try to use the vs sassoon hair straightener now!:D
happy happy qing!:D

i love you baby.
so so so much.

after i get my miserable money i'm going to get you something tiny for new year (:
hope it wont be a disappointment to you(:

2008-12-22T05:43:00.002+13:00

HAHAHA!

darling your previous post is HILARIOUS!

please bear in mind that my cap lock's not working, so by making the word hilarious caps, it really geniuely mean, i'm very tickled (:

sorry darling, tired, those few are the days when i tried to make our 3yrs anni present for you!
and i'm glad you told me you liked it tonight! :D

from the days when you call me qing and i call you ash,
to me calling you darling for the first time over sms(: -shy
we've come a long way.
thank you for your patience baby, and your accomodating nature.
to all my childish stunts.

it's amazing how comfortable i feel around you(:
equally amazing's how you never fail to forget about my alien armpit

:D<3s=D