Friday, April 27, 2007

times like this.
when i whine and you just succumb and agree to come online even when you're dead tired.
when my stomach growl at night and you insist on taking me out for midnight prata.
when i pout and you give me the movie i want to watch, forgoing the ones you like.
when i pull brattish stunts and you give me the food i want, even when you're not in the mood for c-jade. or rajah inn.
when i stare so long at the colorful butterfly and you just went on to buy me one without even thinking twice. happy house happy qing.
when i tear at the thought of ashley the pig the first. you got me ashley the pig the second. just as nice to hug.
when i question why you cant kiap the toys at timezone. or some arcade. you secretly ran down to get me my blushing pet tortor.

i love you.
your everything.
your voice. your tender loving care. your moodswings. your pride. your childlike innocence. how you love to stare at glass:D
i just want to envelope you in my hug. whisper comfort into your ears. watch you drift into sleep and kiss you night. capturing every single bit of you.
so there'll be no regret.

imu.
and i was genuinely interested in you. VERY. right from the start.
i'm a very shy and prideful person. really.

qing bites

2:27 AM

Thursday, April 26, 2007

here i am once again.

qing bites

8:21 PM

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

flop back and nap.
for a tiny while.
i dont know how to explain
no adjective seem to match.
how much i miss you.

but i know you can read my mind.
so, guess it doesnt matter :D

qing bites

8:35 PM

Monday, April 23, 2007

i dont like the responsibility.
i dont want the expectation.
i totally detest aging.
but there's no time defying elements in existance.

so why not let's just take some time off living.
and wander into the grounds where evasion reigns and distortion rules.

just you. and me.
and nobody else.

qing bites

11:17 PM

so this is my birthday.
uneventfully eventful.

hmm, my goal from now on will be trying to die on all of my birthday and do all stuff that's life-risking and highly suicidal/fatal (ie skydiving bungee jumping snake charming rockclimbing ...)
then i can die a shakespear.

:D

yeah lor. very warped hor? but at least i die with glory.

imu baby.

qing bites

11:08 PM

my sad miserable birthday.
my handphone alarm decides to take off today.
so i took a day off school too.
reluctantly. cos i've already missed THE LAST FUCKING WEEK of school the previous term.
so robyn rose called.
and i was too confused and dazed to come out with a reason.
so let's leave me to deal with it tomorrow.

then, i recieved a few birthday texts!
heh. so unexpected!!! cos this is auckland and majority of the people alive's in singapore.
ok la. actually last year i got ZERO.
proves how singapore cant wait to get rid of me.

darling i think you're in school now. hmm, i'll be washing up and eating breakfast.
then go hunt for shoes and softtoys and work.
then home to do more homework and SLEEP EARLY.
((:
okok?
will write you an email tonight.
(:
happy birthday to me.
i dont like to be 19

qing bites

1:44 PM

Sunday, April 22, 2007

i miss. those days.
when school.
dance.
friends.
frenemies.
are my only concerns in life.

but i dont want them back (:
i want you.
life with you.
looking back.
sheer indulgence.
living forth.
baby,
be my motivation.
i love you.

qing bites

4:50 AM

Saturday, April 21, 2007

hello darling!!! :D

you should be sleeping! (:

i'm pulling hair now!! :D :D

hahahaha. fine me fine me!!

remember we were playing this stupid catch game even when we were super super bitter?(:

i miss you. miss you so badly.

to think back, actually i really was bullying you quite a bit):

was young and stupid and didnt know how to really love you.

i was only 17 you know you know!?

so forgive me please???

heh, cant wait to get back! then you can feeeed me with EVERYTHING EVERYTHING!!

but can we not durian strudel? :S

it's horrigibly scary!

still, if you insist i'll just accompany you and try not to throw up after forcing down some. -.-

ohohoh! and i'll be baking/making nice cheesecakes!

heh, so we'll be saving up quite alotalot of money!!! lalala

you owe me half a dozen of oreo cheesecake still, dont forget. unless you go to yuani and make her puke out the share she stole.

ok i better get going, if not the weather will be too freezy to vaccum house.

lotslots of love ok? i want to cam cam you!

are you cutting your hair today?

)):

does that mean you're going to meet your mom again?

dont flare up when she tries to provoke!

just smile and tilt your head like buddy!! :D:D:D

HAHAHAH.

then she'll freak out.

qing bites

2:45 PM

Thursday, April 19, 2007

this lalala. very out of place ):

i'm still waiting (((:

but i'm a bit sadd. cos you're not replying my text.

hmm. it's ok! maybe your battery's flat again. i'll just be patient and wait!:D

lots lots lots of love darling.

can you moan for me tonight.

i miss hearing your sexy sultry voice

qing bites

11:59 PM

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

it feels so much like before. but why do i feel more unwanted now than ever?

why do i always have to say the wrong things.
why do i speak my mind but distort the meaning somehow.
to me you're always the best. and i'm always too lucky to have you to myself.
so how is it possible, for me to put you down.
incompetent, weak, hopeless, are words associated to me. not you.
and 14th april 2006, i was feeling inferior.
i remember begging you to forgive me in front of almost everybody, you, your friends my mama.
if you want me to do it again.
pick the place choose the time. i'll gladly do anything for you.
just dont ever let go.
you wont regret. i know. cos i will.
just stay please.

qing bites

10:22 PM

Friday, April 13, 2007

darling.. you know it's really really cold today?
min temp is 11. max 15. ):
i woke up freezing.
actually i was freezing when i was sleeping too. cos my comforter's far too thin, it's for summer.
and now it's already mid autumn.
i'll try to find bigger and heavier clothes to lay on my comforter to wennuan myself(:
baby, you know i really miss you so much so much? and i hate it when you're out with your mom. cos you'll be very moody. and it actually makes me moody and sulky too.
in order to lift your mood up i have to be very happy:D:D:D
or maybe, just feign to be happy and lalala.
but it's all worth it. cos once i see you smile over the cam i feel like :D and :'( at the same time
so it's :'D
i didnt know it feels so good to see the one you love smile.
maybe i was too self absorbed last time. to just take and take all the time.
i wasnt really giving. i was just doing whatever i should to get more of your love ))):
sorry ok? but just forgive me. and i'll make you feel more loved than ever! ((:
you might think 7 months is really long.
sometimes i think so too. like time makes everything so uncertain.
but i'm very sure how important you are to me has never changed.(:

qing bites

3:32 AM

男人刺青是为了彰显力量，女人刺青则是标志爱情。

我真的很希望你能够知道
你对我来说有多么重要
很多时候。我的痛楚，甚至是，根本不知道怎样和你讲。
当时我很明白。
我做的所有的事。
和你经历的一切一切。
都是值得的。

qing bites

1:25 AM

baby i'm going to miss you so badly ): ):
i dont even know what to do now.
i dont want to pack my bag.
i dont want dont want!!!! ))):
whinewhinewhine

though we're like so far apart.
i still feel really close to you.
cos at least i can get hold of you on sms, on phone, on msn.
even get to see your pretty little face every single night and kiss you night before going to sleep.
drifting to sleep at the thought of you.
waking up from dreams of us (:
it's sweet.
and i count down to getting back to you every single day.
yeah, another 7months or so. we'll be together again!
and this time round, nothing can break us apart.
really, i'll make sure everything's out of our way ok? then you'll just focus on getting your dip.
and i'll work every single day till we have enough to fly ourselves away.
then you'll marry me!!
lalala
lalala
lalala
i cant wait la!
i go on my knees and propose to you ok? (:
but you must be very eager like me ok!?
and pull me up take the ring put on yourself then kisskiss hughug me!
((:
can can can?
nothing's going to change.
cos i've already decided you're an indispensable part of me.
my precious ash(:
lovelove

qing bites

12:52 AM

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

darling.
dont be sad anymore?
i know he's your only companion for really long.
and he listened to every single word of yours.
i'll do just the same.
and not interrupt you when you're telling me about your secrets ok?
he's had a comfortable life.
actually more comfortable than us, since neither of us stayed in a 2 storey house 200 times our own size before.
we loved him. and he knows it (:
what does your mama know about hamsters?
he'll always be our family (: and i think he's quite happy under our care
darling please live strong and live well.
i love you alright?
and you'll always have me.
not going to leave you at all. ever again.

qing bites

3:02 PM

hello darling!
i think it's so much better like that!:D
i can just blog freely! nobody knows the url! except for you and me! :D
wheeee.
oh yeah, cindy knows too. i hope you dont mind. but she's very much on your side.
you know sometimes i get pissed cos i call you and i get "the m1 customer you're calling is currently unavailable please try again later"
then she'll tell me to cool it and find excuses for you. (:
i think she likes you more than she likes me -.-

anyways, yeah, cut hair! cheap cheap! i nearly missed the promo.
and the hairstylists looks more like a butcher than a hairstylist... -.-
and he's very evil! if you dont quote the morning promo you have to pay 35!!
my hair pic is on dupliate-me ((:
i dont know. just to piss those idiots who are still constantly viewing my dead blog even more.
i'm not telling anyone else the url already!
dont think they can ever track us. unless they google qing or ash and click on thousands of links that are mostly irrelevant.
darling!
i know you're tiredd. )):
and i know you've got loads to settle. really alot. just remember if we can slowly get through this. there'll be only great things ahead ok? cos you're my congcong and i love you (:
ok i tell you what i'm doing tmr.
if i can wake up before 12. i'll look through my bio research material and start my draft.
then cook noodles to eat.
go to the library to find material for my english major internal assessment.
go to work.
come back home to do maths.
again -.-
and wait for you!
maybe i'll bake new kind of cookies!! if not very boring hor? (:
maybe i send you 2 kinds of cookies in the next parcel!! excited or not?!:D
if cannot tahan i go sleep.
but of course i'll drop you a daily heartt! <3<3
and a daily email.
(:

qing bites

12:22 AM

Sunday, April 8, 2007

a long weekend.
we watched it last year.
and i think we had a little tiff after that.
over what, i cant really remember but it's quite juvenile i think?

i like to hold your hand, and pounce on you when you're most unaware.

kiss my hand.
i'll give your palm a lick (:

hahaha. you must love me pretty much.
to grace your name with a major part of mine.
i dont like rip offs alright?

qing bites

3:35 PM

Saturday, April 7, 2007

i dont like easter.
wtf.
choc eggs, candy bars, dumb bunnies, demented kids.
distort.
urghhh.

find your own girl.

qing bites

12:10 PM

the last entry's my 69th entryyy!
((:

we'll move soon yes? once we come out with a decent/cool/unpredictable url.
exclusively us.
just like the be prepared song (:

dee naa me teee (:
it's italian! :D

qing bites

4:08 AM

my telepathic twin.

(:
irreplaceable.

qing bites

3:35 AM

hello.
hello.

qing bites

12:19 AM

Friday, April 6, 2007

i want to move(:

qing bites

3:23 PM

有时候，真得不知道。到底。因不应该。
那么多的因素。
很复杂。
复杂到我都不想再去考碌后果会是怎样。
你的每一句话。
好痛。
原来对你来说。
那么多的回忆。
我是这么没有任何价值。

好烦。
我从来没有下手的心。
一直都没。
就算我失去控制。
潜意识里。
我根本没有能力去伤害你。
对不起。

qing bites

1:08 AM

Thursday, April 5, 2007

gastric.
marks my 11.30pm
everyday.

qing bites

11:29 PM

do you realize. alot of times, when you're approached by friends.

friends who are falling in love. falling out of love. running into problems, running out of money.

they're not really in need of your profound statements about life, intricate analysis of the situation, so called non-judgemental advices, or those "if i were you, i'd have dadeedadeedaa a long time ago"...

you're not in a position to judge.
nor do you have the ability to read minds and forecast what's to come.
so stop skewing the situation in favor of your personal interest.
i'm not blind. and so are most people alive.
they might be blinded by their vulnerability.
but it's not permanent.

i dont analyse. i dont judge. i dont reprimand.
if you're really the one i care. the one i love.
i dont mind skidding then fall flat on my face on purpose,
if that can make you smile (:

qing bites

12:44 AM

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

shakeshake!
(:
do you still remember what's shakeshake? ((((:
-blushblushh

so much misses.
gonna turn in early today.
parttime school tomorrow then parttime work.
lots of misses darling.
i miss wanton mee so much!!
i think i go cook some mee now.

qing bites

10:24 PM

skullprints and polkadots.
should i run on liftplus tomorrow or not?

qing bites

2:01 AM

sour cream.
pure cream.
yoghurt.
lemon.
strawberrrrrry/ apricot crumble jam.
butter.
cookie crumbles.
peanut sprinkles.

gahhh!
baby guess what i'm learning to make now?
you're so going to just explode in excitement! :D
i cant wait to come back and stuff you with different variety/category/species/class/type of food everyday ((:
ohoh! and i'm learning to make lasagne too ((:

MY CONGCONG PRECIOUS IS SKIPPING GRADES! :D
to celebrate,
I'M SKIPPING A WHOLE WEEK OF CLASS!:D

qing bites

12:06 AM

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

qing bites

4:24 AM

Monday, April 2, 2007

desensitize me.
strike all the vices off the list really.

it's like resident evil.
just that you're not immuned against the t virus.
you're not that super human alice.

before you know.
game over.

qing bites

10:56 PM

(:
go ahead.
try bringing me down when i've already hit rock bottom.
add on some woes
when what i feel on my shoulders is the whole world.

victimize yourself.
when you mirror the villain of all time.

i'll just shuffle my way to you.
not knowing which way i'll choose to go.

qing bites

10:07 PM

Well I'll try to do to it right this time around It's not over,
Try to do it right this time around It's not over
But your the only one It's not over.

My life with you means everything
So I won't give up that easily.

hugs.
you're the meaning to everything.
reason for everything.
my everything.
love.

qing bites

5:10 AM

vocab and your surgery?
oh please.
your grammar is so horrigible, just by skimming through i can like pick out a few dozens of mistakes.

get a kick out from reading yr blog
out of. not out from.

the only faults that you find on me are the same old boring
find in me. not find on me.

i've learnt so much through the humps,
huh? humps? what humps!? do you mean through rough patches/adversities?
there's only the idiom OVER THE HUMP. no through the humps.
god la. it's not tunnel ok? you dont go through.

yeah, i'm shanghainese.
and a fucking proud one.
one who can speak fluent english and chinese at least,
and equipped with the same level of written skills as well.
and does it occur to you competent people like me can juggle school, work and educating young nutcases like you at the same time pretty well?
i've got a job and i'm getting paid 13bucks/hr. (:

how about you SINGAPOREAN?????????

qing bites

4:16 AM

heh,
five minute breaks in between!
go ahead and steal all the words on my blog really.
what are you stealing? just random virtual matrices which comprises of only 1s and 0s.
you cant even hold onto anything solid!
grappling with your mounting resentment and jealousy.
struggling with the pathetic form you're stucked in. called life.
who do you have?
what do you fall back on?
where do you retreat to?

i have ash.
and she's got me.
that's all i know. and all i care.

unapproriate.
in this context.
my words, my monopoly.
stealing words from my possession without getting my consent in advance.
that's what i imply.
read a wide range.
dig and shove deeper

qing bites

3:03 AM

Unappropriate
\Un`ap*pro"pri*ate\, v. t. [1st pref. un- + appropriate, v. t.]
To take from private possession;

qing bites

2:59 AM

wowers. i'm so pleased. utterly flattered.
qing's blog.
an essential must-read vital to the expansion of your house of miserable vocabulary!
guarantee success or bytes-back!

word of the day.
duplicitous.

wah liao.
do you even know the meaning? dont conveniently cut and paste alright?
if you're really so fucking knowledgeable
research on a topic and write me a full blown 2000word thesis yeah?
with no grammatical faults or unappropriate use of words.

qing bites

2:23 AM

this is badd...
i have a lit thesis to complete. )):
thesis.
not essay. 2000 word thesis.
going to hammer my keyboard and get my ass down to some serious analysis and interpretation now.
it's not that agonizing actually, given how i have to read minds and decipher human behavior every single day since 2005.
what's book really. just leaflets of writing. so dead. so rigid. so helpless.
yeah lor.
but still.
wtf la. 2000 words no joke ok?

qing bites

12:45 AM

我只有深情但请你收下
我只有痴狂却不懂得方法
把我心里想的怀里有的清楚让你看吧

路也许还长但爱已出发
我也许太傻却一点也不假
会永远体贴永远守约你肯让我爱你吗

想看着你闹陪着你笑让我爱你吧

qing bites

12:13 AM

Sunday, April 1, 2007

hands up in the air.
in the air.
hands up in the air.

i like the way you move.

-slumps back to slumber

qing bites

2:02 PM