qing bites

4:20 PM

lies are like cockroaches.
for every single one that's exposed, there's another 10 wavering somewhere unnoticed.


you're the sweetest girlfriend anyone can wish for.
loving caring self sacrificing accomodating sensitive(most of the time) and so much so much more.
i cant deny that
and i really want us to last forever therefore let's just keep the past as it is and not mention that void which can totally break me and of course you apart.
i understand it takes alot from you to be so magnanimous cos it's haunting and tormenting at the same time.
so. thank you i really do appreciate it.

i just hope you know,
i'm not a monster, neither am i a saint,
for everything you said i take it as the ultimate truth,
but just, dont cross the line,

ilu

qing bites

3:09 AM

what can i say?

dec 23rd people are really disillusioned. (get a life, pls!)

i'm just gonna think happy thoughts and continue to be sunshine-y!
think: sex and the city's charlotte! lolololol :D

qing bites

1:59 AM

Friday, June 27, 2008

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
PRECIOUS ASH!

seriously baby,
i hope for nothing but that
for your entire 23rd year,
you'll be healthy
happy
and pretty!

ahem, with my presence of course
:D


hugs.

qing bites

6:40 AM

Thursday, June 26, 2008

i think i'm going crazy.

qing bites

5:49 AM

no it doesnt ever change.
you always get angry over my words,
while i try to tell you you're being insensitive to my emotions.

whatever i've done for you will always equate to nothing,
cos of that HUGE mistake i make.

so who's the one crying
and who's the one telling who to fuck off.

sometimes i just hope i can be stabbed in the chest and die.

live for?
live to fuck off

qing bites

3:08 AM

ha, so cool huh,
blog on draft.

qing bites

2:58 AM

i have to resort to this, talking here
coz i really can't stand talking to you right now!

when will you ever quit picking a fight with me?!
and making me feel like shit instead of encouraging me
wait a min, i don't fucking need any encouragement from you
just don't piss me off,
piss off yourself. bitch.

honestly, i'm tired
of caring so much for you
of doing things for you
and all i get is the same old shit attitude from you

fucking reflect about today
how i left my paper earlier to morning call you
then walk you to your venue then try to go thru ap chem with you
and what did i get?!
A WHOLE LOAD OF FUCKING SHIT ATTITUDE EVEN UR CLASSMATE PETER CAN VOUCH FOR

know what? this has got to stop. NOW.

qing bites

2:53 AM

your blog entries never fail to make me feel happy (:
wish i could say the same for my entries ):

i just ate filet o fish meal my mama bought
you must be hungry too, poor baby )):
wanna sms you to check on you but in case you are drifting off to sleep,
i don't wanna scare you awake with yet another sensational disaster story.
mama said some lesbian killed her lesbian gf at cwp foodcourt,
then jumped to her death.
i think we should avoid that area for the next 100 days,
or at least if we have to go there, don't pda
i scared both lesbian ghosts come and haunt us
coz we're so blissfully happy together (they jealous) -.-'

think i'm falling sick, or is it fatigue
but i'm an emo emu right now
i think it's coz i'm missing you alot
you are the only family i have
the only one i feel so close to
so when we're not together i feel awfully alone
and then i'll miss your pretty face
your sweet smile
your sometimes-naughty face
your sweet smell (xiang xiang!)

i really don't belong here
let's go away farfar away
6 years' time, i'll work hard :D

<3

ps: darling your observation of that fat woman bending for chocolate is such a scary and haunting image i don't think i can see chocolates the same way again, hahaha.

qing bites

2:08 AM

qing bites

1:37 AM

hellos baby,
i'm up, actually i didnt even get to sleep.
hah, was about to drift off when you called.
and the thought of some random natural disaster striking singapore leaving us wrecked of communications blahs makes me shudder.
so i got too scared to sleep again.

nope, i havent really finished my birthday surprise to you yet!
actually not really a surprise anymore i thought you can only see some pink blurry stains on a white background.
hmm. nevermind!

you know for the past few days i've been wondering why do i actually bother to spend time doing what i'm doing now.
deep down i know it's worth it (:
mst and your birthday,
mst comes every half a year! but your 23rd is only once in a lifetime!:D
after all, as i've said, we might be the very lucky few to witness the downfall of a planet.
hahaha, fat hope.

anyhow,
it feels like,
am i doing this cos i always screw your birthday up? and i'm doing this to make up whatever that i've missed and wrongdoing of the past.
is this just to prove something to you,
or prove something to myself.

but seriously heck all the deep shit aside,
i just want to see you smile
((:

qing bites

1:32 AM

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

imu
imu alot.

and all of a sudden
i dont know what to do but feel sad
):

qing bites

5:48 AM

Friday, June 20, 2008

bear in mind that blue flame burns hotter than red

i know i can't take my words back
(but no thanks to the stupid vmc i deleted my post before i read ur entry)

i can't take my words back
and we can't go back
but we have the rest of the future together to look forward to
isn't that what matters more?

i love you. only you. it's always been this way (:

p/s: i don't know if that is a chinese song but i'll be really impressed if you came up with that yourself.
pp/s: and yes, i'm really looking forward to my birthday with u! :D

my patience struggling with the vmc connection has come to here. see you in a bit to mug tog love! <3

qing bites

2:41 AM

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

我爱哭大声的哭
你在身边我敢放肆的哭
电影感人听情歌我都会哭
我爱哭偷偷的哭
你清楚却伤我那黱离谱
几句话语我的泪却止不住
你说分手时候彷佛早就想清楚
留我一个躲在角落来不及哭
只能傻住
我是爱哭鬼我想哭掉对你的思念
看著镜子里面没志气的脸
然后越哭越后悔
我是爱哭鬼我想哭掉对你的依恋
我也知道自己这样子不对
却还越哭越认真的为谁
我不哭我不敢哭
哭只会让视线变的模糊
视线模糊记忆却会更清楚
你说分手时候彷佛早就想清楚
留我一个躲在角落来不及
哭只能傻住
我是爱哭鬼我想哭掉对你的思念
看著镜子里面没志气的脸
然后越哭越后悔
我是爱哭鬼我想哭掉对你的依恋
我也知道自己这样子不对
却还越哭越认真的可悲

爱哭鬼

qing bites

7:17 AM

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

darling i love you (:
i have loved you all along
i still love you after 2.5 years
and i will always love you more and more for the rest of the years to come

HAPPY 2.5 YEARS OF ASH & QING! <3

p/s: sorry i didn't ask your permission but i deleted all the bad entries from last night.
pp/s: i wanted to delete the comments also but i don't know the pw to your cbox ):

qing bites

5:26 AM

Monday, June 16, 2008

i miss times when we use the same candyfloss pink phone.
so bimbotic.
and it takes at least 5sec for us to differentiate yours from mine.
then
i'll be waiting at the void decks for you to end jasmine.
playing hellokitty fastfood.
or the brick game.
which you got sooooo addicted to that there's once we both sat at the 2nd level of sengkang mrt/bus interchange.
just for you to finish the last stage of a level (:

just like you, i miss sengkang.
alot.

love is crazy one day out of ten,
just so you appreciate the times when it's sane.

qing bites

1:48 AM

Sunday, June 15, 2008

hello darling

i'm going to
START MUGGING

now.

cant draw darling ----->

anymore. cos you're nowhere within my sight ):
very sad imu

qing bites

8:28 PM

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

i love my master shifu hobblehobble macs happy meal toy!!:D
and my master shifu and po the panda fan (:

they're both so cute!!! (:
baby i dont mind watching again.

everything that you said today,
about how you can afford thousands of things which you want.
the times when you tap for internet connection just to find out where i am.
the distress the trauma and all the pain.
when you were left in lurch to face everything alone.

and now. you have to live in the shadow of what's happened.
guilt trips everytime when you face your family.
so much so much for you to do everysingleday.

i do see that.
those thoughts. they go through my mind every single day.
and maybe that explains my selfdoubt and paranoia.
i do have a conscience, surprising?
and when i think i cant sleep, even if i take cough syrup.

i didnt believe anyone can actually get around to forgiving what i've done.
i was violent, unreasonable, in perpetual moodswing, self centred, and i left you.
there's alot more.
pick any one of the above and that's more than enough reason for you to ask for a break up.

i take you being with me now as a miracle.
i'm not entitled to being with you
it's like taking a gift that's meant for someone else and anytime that organizer will realize and everything that we have now will be taken away ):
trying hard to make sure nothing goes wrong and everything goes right's not foolproof.
there're times when emotion overwrites everything else
you feel possessed.
out of control.
it goes on and on.
until something finally strikes the spot where it hurts the most.
i cant bear to see you cry.
sometimes i question, am i even worth it.
so what if i've done all the stuff for our relationship.
you're right.
does it in any ways benefit you.
so what if the intention is good but everything just run off course in the process.
it's still considered bad.

we should try a different approach.
darling do you see me as a the dark side sucking away all your sunshine liveliness?

i just cant imagine holding anyone else's hand except for yours.
neither can i go on without you in my mind.

the thought, it makes me cry

qing bites

4:22 AM

Monday, June 9, 2008

darling you're still very much like before, just bigger better and bitchier(:
heh.
everytime we hit cine. i just cant help but stare at that billboard.
are you getting the right attention?
we started off from there.

and no, i fucking hate attention.
(unless when i dance)

hope your ulcer will go away soon, it looks so painfully red and swelled.
we need to take care of your health and our diet.
you'll be very happy when you can fit into your very tiny teeshirts last time again:D
i know!




this ever present nibbling fear.
is it self doubt or paranoia

narcissistic i'm losing touch.

qing bites

3:09 AM

Monday, June 2, 2008

yes, i still wish to bring you to all the places that i find fun, pretty and enjoyable.

it's my fault you feel like i dont care.
i did the wrong thing.
and i deserve to be slapped across the face.

but will you not leave me.

cos you have every single right in the world to.
borrowed happiness and borrowed time is nobody's
but mine.

qing bites

4:15 AM

i love it when you go BU KE QI LE
and i love it when you confess ur deep grudge against chicken so much so you must eat them every day in every way
and i love it when you're so thoughtful deep down inside, saving every penny for my lasik
(sorry i've been a brat about psp, but seriously i don't really want it that bad la)
i love it when we eat at cheapo but nice places like the hawker after ecp today
and cycling is fun with you darling, you make me smile and you make me laugh

i don't know why i'm crying as i'm typing this now.
i think i miss you alot.

<3

so wanted to sleep with you tonight
even gave mama attitude for having off day tmr
when she showed me her bruises and wounds coz she fell (and very badly too) at work today

and i really meant it you are a sweeter and better gf than allison in every way.
if she's really that good, then how come i don't even rmb her much
in fact, i seem to talk about her sister cindy and isaac more lo.
i'm sorry i said the wrong thing, pulled the wrong leg (i find your expression funny when it's not)
and now i only have myself to blame
crying and thinking alot by myself in my room

sometimes i think all the guilt i have inside of me will one day just consume me alive.

qing bites

2:29 AM