Monday, August 17, 2009

hmm, your last entry kinda made me a bit sad )):

but nevermind i'm still uploading your cute and cool video for you to see see (:

hahaha, not really very amazing, so obviously i'm not uploading it onto fb la!

nvm, i'll take you playing eh, riffrifforbit extreme when you wearing contact lens when you're skinny ok?

then i bet you can add a few more names to your endlesssssss list of gfs.

sucks to be your gf man, see i've got only one and one name only

MISS ANGELINA LOW HUI LEI. who can mimic armchio by going into facial spasm HAHAHAH

qing bites

3:06 AM

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

i wonder if you'll ever question yourself when feelings fade away and relationships fall apart.

they say it takes two hands to clap.
but you only need a finger to point and blame.

cry. you're the only one who knows how to cry?!
so go ahead and cry me a river.

qing bites

5:10 AM

so many entries. all you posted one. so here's what i have to say:

you're blowing things out of proportion.
not like i deliberately want to hide things from you. don't see the need to anymore.
all i did was to delete some emails.
go ahead and make a mountain out of a molehill and upset yourself.
it's unnecessarily really.

i think you're right and i agree with you.
you're like this now because of what happened with lard and etc.
and when i first got to know you you were like that because of your family and etc.
it's always somebody else's fault isn't it?

once again tonight i gotta pack up my emotions and collect myself to do school work.
it's no surprise that sooner or later, i will be void of all emotions.
the only one i'm feeling right now is misery.

you're right too. we never look good in any photo.
you're presence is over empowering in photos. and in real life.
i'm overshadowed. and miserable.

so let's just be miserable till you finally figure out what's wrong.
because i really don't think i'm wrong this time.

no need for apologies. apologies is a childish game.
all i need is peace but you never ever give me any.

qing bites

5:02 AM

remember how you've told me that if you couldnt get over me leaving for auckland,
even if you love me, you cant get over it, then we can no longer be togther?

or if i cant get over lard, even if you didnt do anything with her,
and if i still do love you but i cant get over it, then we can no longer be together too?

maybe i just cant get it out of myself,
anything of this nature sets me off real bad,
i think i'm going to get nightmares tonight,
it's nothing to do with you.

maybe it's just in you to hide everything from me,
not because of any ill intention but just to keep things jolly as they seem,
it's not at all your fault,
maybe it's mine.
maybe i'm the cause of everything.

you asked me about what i think in the shower,
i told you about how i just think of what to do next,
tonight's the first time i cry in the shower.
so bad that i think i shampooed my body and soaped my hair.

do you think we're meant to be together?

you're right, i dont think we're compatible at all.
we dont even have a photo in which we both look good.

qing bites

4:49 AM

interestingly enough,
i actually remember exactly when and where you told me that you've recognized my effort in being patient with you and waiting.
waiting
waiting
for you to actually be honest and open with me.

how you've decided to change and you told me that you've indeed changed.
yeah, i was really touched and i felt as if we could go on forever at that point in time.

you want the time?
it's on thursday around 4pm on bus 105 on our way to town
the key here is,
you were still semi drunk.

and obviously,
nothing you said should be taken into serious account for.

you'd expect me to say,
ahhh, let's start a new, i'm sorry darling, i havent been understanding, youve got so much things to handle it's your last sem how tough how inconsiderate of me to make you go through this kind of things!!

and the saddest part is,
i've been trained to say those words over and over again at times like this, that i've no longer got a mind of my own to think about anything else.

yeah, in loving you, i've lost myself.

you'll never know.

it's such a huge disappointment.

qing bites

4:15 AM

you treat me like a fucking 7-11
always around the corner, anytime, anywhere.

with what you need,
never what you want.

dispose of me then,
since i'm worth of only the value of junk.

qing bites

4:13 AM

you always make me cry.
and the truth is you dont really care whether i cry or not.
you cant feel it when i'm hurt.
and you dont really do things to stop hurting me.

you only say things which are symptometic relief which makes me feel good for that tiny few seconds.
i dont want that.

qing bites

3:26 AM